Patient's question:
I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years, but I've realized I have asexuality. Whenever my boyfriend suggests intimacy, I feel extreme disgust. I don't hate him; I just really, really don't want to do it. I don't know why, because we used to have a great time? Maybe later, I felt my boyfriend was no longer able to satisfy me, and this went on for about six months. After that, I became less and less interested in intimacy. Also, because of inadequate protection, I had an abortion once, which left some psychological scars on me. Plus, I've been under a lot of pressure from work and studies, and my interpersonal relationships...Doctor's answer:
Three Aspects of Treating Low Libido1. Physical Health
This primarily manifests in physical illnesses and poor lifestyle habits (sexually). For physical ailments, it’s advisable to consult an experienced traditional Chinese medicine practitioner, who can tailor treatments based on individual qi and blood conditions. For women, traditional Chinese medicine therapies are gentle on the body, help restore vitality, enhance qi and blood, and boost life energy (thus also improving sexual energy). Regarding poor lifestyle habits, their impact extends beyond sexual health to damage the entire quality of life. Therefore, it’s crucial to correct and eliminate these habits early on. Life is something we must take responsibility for.
2. Psychological Factors
Many cases of low libido stem from psychological issues. As previously mentioned, sexual fear often arises from a lack of healthy and comprehensive understanding of sex, leading to later aversion or rejection. This requires a correct and effective perspective on sex—sex itself is normal, beautiful, and the origin of life. Of course, past negative sexual experiences can also generate aversion, causing severe low libido. In such cases, women need proper psychological counseling to help them overcome their shadows. This is not an overnight solution; it requires guidance from professionals and personal effort. Spiritual growth is a lifelong journey, and psychological wounds can be fully healed through continuous self-exploration.
3. Spouse Relationship
A significant portion of women’s low libido also originates from their partners. In fact, the majority of cases involve male-related factors. For example, tense or even hostile relationships between partners are often tied to the man’s actions. If a woman struggles with sexual psychological issues, why can’t the man help her overcome her shadows? More care, support, concern, and understanding are needed. Above all, effective communication is essential. Many problems in relationships could be resolved through open dialogue, but silence often leads to tension. Therefore, I strongly recommend that both partners openly express their feelings—such as physical sensations, psychological states, and personal desires—when facing sexual issues. Sex itself is meant to enhance harmony and beauty in the relationship, but if it causes pain and confusion, it becomes a major problem.