Invincible Business Xiao An

Author: Man You
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-01-01
Features: Youthful Absurd Literature! Following Freshman Life, another novel that truly portrays university life and emotions. Happy when happy, sad when sad, act when it's time to act, sleep when you can sleep? Shang Xia'an pursues nothing but the word "freedom." Excerpt: Shang Xia'an's philosophy, are you ready? Let's tiptoe, slowly extend your left hand, raise your head, use your left index finger to press your right nostril, take a deep breath, and then a deeper one. Did you feel it? That pure, innocent, clear something? I ask you what you feel? Haven't you felt it? No way, it's so obvious. Still don't know? Cough. Let me tell you. That's the transparent air that Shang Xia'an has been breathing, Shang Xia'an's philosophy. To talk about Shang Xia'an, you must first understand her philosophy. Her philosophy is no philosophy. The saying of the Sixth Patriarch Huineng goes, "Bodhi is originally without trees, and the mirror is not a platform." So, she proudly claims that her current level has surpassed Huineng. Huineng still adheres to Buddhism, but Shang Xia'an has even abandoned Buddhism. She firmly believes she is completely different from ordinary people. This goes back to when she was two years old. As long as you show a little curiosity, she will tell you that when she was two, her mother resolutely left her to study far away, leaving her and her father alone and dependent on each other. Next, what made her even more proud was that in second grade, she could already understand the original version of Journey to the West. Then, what made her proud was that she never needed to study math to pass every math exam. And so on, so far, I haven't heard anything she's said that doesn't prove she's a genius or a natural fool? Who knows? She was born on April 2, 1983. She adheres to the principle of "lie down if you can sit, sit if you can stand, stand if you can walk, and walk if you can run," a 100% laziness principle. She likes the phrase "Even without knowledge, there should be common sense." She likes to act cute, squinting her eyes and rubbing against people. She likes to say, "Dull!" Of course, she is also quite plump. Shang Xia'an is from the north, and in 1996, she followed her parents south, becoming a part of the land of Lingnan. According to her, she is a genius. This genius likes to do, is reading novels and writing. It's quite pitiful to say. Let's start from when she was in second grade of primary school. From the Journey to the West, she read countless masterpieces, making her parents proud, teachers moved, and classmates envious. What a promising student! Xia'an immediately became arrogant, browsing books on everything from astronomy and geography to the past and present, both at home and abroad. Until one day, her parents found a pile of forbidden books in the third empty space of the fourth grid in her bedroom bed frame and questioned her. She replied, "They're just martial arts, romance, science fiction, and comics." Well, all four of the vulgar books are here, and she adds "and so on." It's really regrettable. As for Xia'an's writing, it's actually quite bad, except for her essays, which are passable. She writes something like, "Beautiful life is like a gentle stream flowing through the mountains; beautiful life is like a soaring bird singing among the trees." What nonsense! It's just about to hold up. But the novels she writes can only be described with the four words "unbearably terrible." By the way, I've been talking about Shang Xia'an for so long but haven't mentioned what she looks like yet? Her original hair was already long when the story started. Her glasses also ambitiously wanted to switch to Durex, but she ended up hating it and still wearing two large glass cups. She is quite tall, 167 cm, but because of her weight, no one believes her height. As for her appearance, oh, she was originally a beautiful girl, but because of her glasses, she became quite unattractive. And in most people's eyes, a fat sister is always hard to look good. However, she is actually quite cute, with a high nose bridge, small lips, and a round face. It makes you want to pinch her for fun. But that's only if you can tolerate her bad temper. If you pinch her, I bet the next person being pinched will be you, and you'll be flattened. Okay, Shang Xia'an, I've basically introduced her. Is there anything missing? It seems there isn't. Shang Mu. When talking about pickles, you can't mention vinegar; when talking about Guangdong, you can't mention lychees; when talking about Chinese history, you can't mention the War of Resistance—just like the saying goes. When talking about Shang Xia'an, you can't mention her parents, especially her mother, that flat. This mother is a young marriage mother. She got married at nineteen, so you can still pretend to mistake her for Xia'an's sister or friend. Of course, to maintain this beautiful appearance, one must first start with psychological construction. So, her immaturity, clumsiness, and childlike innocence are unavoidable. Maybe you don't believe it, but this woman has always been praised as an epitome of elegance, beauty, virtue, and gentleness. Yet, this doesn't just show that secretly, to maintain this glorious image, Shang Mu has to vent so much immaturity and clumsiness? One day, Shang Mu was cooking, and she yelled to Xiaan, who was watching TV outside, "Xiaan! Help me get the cabbage out of the wardrobe!" Xiaan was lost in the TV plot, vaguely agreeing, sticking to her philosophy, not thinking if she needed to, and turning into her bedroom to search for the so-called cabbage. About ten minutes later: "Mom! There's no cabbage here!" "You're lying! I just bought it this morning!" Shang Mu yelled in the kitchen, her knife mercilessly cutting down the poor chicken in her hand. "No," Xiaan continued, but her tone was weaker. "I'll look myself!" Shang Mu came out, forcefully opened the refrigerator, and pulled out a bunch of cabbage. "What is this?" "Cabbage." "Why didn't you find it earlier? Every time you're asked to find something, you can't find it?" "" Shang Xiaan shut up. "Speak!" Shang Mu roared. "You asked me to look in the wardrobe." Xiaan replied. "" Shang Mu paused for a moment and immediately started yelling, "You foolish child! How can cabbage be put in the wardrobe? Where did your head go? I've wasted teaching you!" She finished, unable to resist, and gave Xiaan's face a hard pinch. Xiaan covered her face, angry but unable to speak. Another time. Xiaan accompanied her mother for a walk—actually being forcibly dragged and forced. On the way, that flat saw a few children, about ten years old, riding the latest two-wheeled bicycles, flying past in front of her. Shang Mu excitedly grabbed Xiaan's sleeve, "Ahaha! It looks so interesting! Xiaan, I'll buy you one next time!" "" "Xiaan! Xiaan!" To prevent her mother from tearing her sleeve off, Xiaan had no choice but to speak: "I don't want it. I'm too old, and I heard it's very expensive." "Only two hundred, how can it be expensive?" Shang Mu sinisterly laughed, "I don't know why they don't fall off." "Mom" "What?" "You're not trying to steal one to play with, are you?" Xiaan felt sweat on her forehead. "Eh?" Shang Mu exclaimed in surprise, "How do you know?" "Going home" pulling the embarrassing Shang Mu away, this kind of thing doesn't need to be guessed. As long as she sees something beautiful that doesn't belong to her, she wants to steal it. What else can be said? The next day, after Shang Mu went to work, Xiaan had nothing to do at home, watched some TV, and then checked the time—it was already noon. After a while, she heard the doorbell ring and went to open it, thinking her mother had finally come back to comfort her empty stomach. But ten minutes passed, then fifteen, then twenty. She still didn't show up. Could she have mysteriously disappeared? Xiaan rushed downstairs like a flying arrow. "Mom? Mom!" Then, a figure rushed past her. Panting at the top of the stairs, almost fainting. It was her dear, young, and lovely mother, riding the two-wheeled bicycle, having a great time! "You" Xiaan pointed weakly at the person in front of her, "Where did you get the bike?" "Against the wall beside it," Shang Mu replied nonchalantly. "You, quickly come inside!" It was so embarrassing to have such a slow-witted and naive mother. To be honest, Shang Mu is actually quite slender and sensitive. When Xiaan failed the college entrance exam in her senior year, that night, she wore a usual mask and went for a walk with her mother again. The evening breeze was pleasant, the leaves whispered softly among the trees, and there was no one under the streetlights, with dew quietly spreading. "Still can't let it go?" that flat suddenly asked. Xiaan didn't say anything. "This kind of thing happened, it's impossible to avoid. Even if you can't let it go, what can you do?" "I can't," Xiaan replied. "You can." Shang Mu pulled her to sit down. "Evidence." "You've never been this proactive in taking a walk with me today." "" Xiaan really wanted to laugh but couldn't. Then, she suddenly blurted out, "I don't want to have children anymore." "Ah?" Shang Mu was stunned for a long moment, thinking, what does this have to do with whether you have children or not? "If I have children, I'll be like you. I only feel I bring you too much pain." Shang Mu finally smiled, but it wasn't a laugh. She just gently hugged her daughter, "Silly child, how don't you know. The happiness you bring us is far more than the pain." Tears seemed to pour out uncontrollably. Xiaan threw herself into her mother's arms, crying heartily, leaving tears from the end of the college entrance exam, some hoarse but very profound, like deep wounds, trying to scream. After a while, Shang Mu's voice rang out, "Dead Xiaan! This is the silk dress I bought just a few days ago!" Shang Fu. Since we've mentioned Shang Xiaan's mother, we can't help but continue to talk about Shang Xiaan's father, Shang Chun. For such a name, most people would find it funny. Even Shang Mu often says to Shang Chun when they argue, "Shang Chun? I'm still mourning autumn!" At this time, Shang Chun usually has nothing to say and can only end the argument that isn't really an argument between the two of them hastily. Shang Fu is a teacher, teaching math. He is strict and has a bad temper (Shang Xiaan estimates she inherited his personality), and his methods of punishing students were once ranked as one of the top ten devilish teachers in the P school in a year. During the time Xiaan was rebellious in junior high school, she suddenly turned into a little delinquent from a good girl. From skipping classes to fighting, even smoking and drinking were among her actions. Shang Fu was really at his wit's end during that time. To hit or to scold? To do both? In the end, he adopted the tactic of marathon-style long-term lectures. Every time the exam results came out, that afternoon at six o'clock, after finishing dinner, wiping his mouth, Shang Chun said, "Come, Xiaan, come over, let's talk." Xiaan reluctantly dragged herself to her father's side and sat down: "Oh." "You tell me, why did you get such bad grades this time?" "I" "What did you promise me after the last exam?" "I" "How did you mess it up? What's the reason? Hmm?" At this time, Xiaan usually couldn't insert a word.