Teacher, please don't manage the children.

Author: Yan Xingfang
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2004-01-01
Features: This book thoroughly analyzes, through numerous examples, the various misguided concepts and practices of parents, teachers, and students regarding talent development under the flawed standards and guiding principles of success. It warns that only three out of a thousand people are exceptionally intelligent, and not everyone who hopes to see their child succeed will achieve their wish. There is no mathematical model for success standards. If one insists on such a model, it must be acknowledged that these standards are constantly evolving with societal development. Both families and schools should adapt to the trends of the times and view this "standard" with a developmental, dialectical, and materialist perspective to properly guide children's success.
Imagine that an increasing number of young people are reluctant to marry, unwilling to have children after marriage, require property agreements before marriage, and explicitly state their refusal to live with their elders. For them, whether their family thrives is simply not within their considerations. Their pursuit is more about personal independence, individual development, future growth opportunities, and their own interests. Therefore, in the long journey of life, each person's direction will be different, and it should be different. Even if everyone is moving in the same direction, there have been countless examples throughout history and across cultures of those who rose later. The key is to lay a solid foundation from a young age, strengthen qualities, learn how to be a person and how to do things, and focus on improving sustainable development capabilities.
On the other hand, if one's focus is solely on a child's exam scores or rankings, or if one constantly dwells on "past issues," it is far too short-sighted. If they start late or stumble along the way, shouldn't they be given more encouragement and cheers, with a simple "Come on!"? Failing to start strong doesn't mean they will never recover; otherwise, the rules of the game would need to be changed—after all, it's not who reaches the finish line first but who leaves the starting point first that matters! Moreover, how many in life's long race are truly just participating for the sake of participation?
In conclusion, if families and schools genuinely want what's best for their children, they should cultivate the following mindset and qualities: less eagerness for immediate results, more serendipitous success; less forced growth, more guiding according to circumstances; less imposing on others, more empathy. If this is the case, everyone will live happier and more successful lives.