Good children are praised into being (Classic Education Collection Edition)

Author: Zhang Zixue, Zou Dejin
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features: If a child lives in criticism, he learns to condemn; if a child lives in praise, he learns confidence. If a child lives in fear, he learns anxiety; if a child lives in security, he learns to trust himself and others. If a child lives in ridicule, he learns shame and guilt; if a child lives in encouragement, he learns to set goals and pursue success. If a child lives in negation and belittling, he learns to attack, rebel, and destroy; if a child lives in acceptance and approval, he learns self-esteem, self-love, and love for others. If a child lives in extremism and conflict, he learns to be rebellious and obsessive; if a child lives in tolerance and harmony, he learns to understand and cooperate. If you love him, first learn to appreciate him. To change a child, first change the parent. Generous praise and respect are enough to sustain a child for a lifetime. Praising a child is not about wearing a high hat without principles; it must be done with proper methods. Praise a child for diligence, not for intelligence; praise a child for rapid progress, not for good grades; praise a child’s ambition, not for arrogance; praise a child’s confidence, not for arrogance; praise a child’s innovative spirit, not for mere imitation. Good children are praised into existence. A slight, seemingly simple praise from a parent—a gentle touch, a heartfelt glance, an unspoken hint—can leave a child with a lasting memory, motivating them to progress from one achievement to the next. There are no bad children in the world. Research in education and psychology shows that human potential is at most developed by 10%, and every child has infinite possibilities in life. So, even if the whole world looks down on your child, parents should still embrace, kiss, and praise him, celebrating the life they have created!
To all parents, if you are currently troubled by your child, worried about their unsatisfactory performance, or question their abilities, please pick up this book quickly! It will give you a fresh perspective, brighten your day, and make you understand: the reason your child is not as outstanding as you imagined is because they lack proper and timely praise!
Respect is the bridge of communication. Respect and trust are the bridges of emotional communication. Whoever respects the child, the child will respect them. Only those who respect the child have the right to educate them. Regardless of what kind of child they are, as long as they are respected, they can communicate and interact with them smoothly.
A parent was often puzzled by conflicts with her son. Once, while scolding him, her son retorted, making her tear up in anger. Seeing her hurt and disappointed, the son not only refused to back down but mocked her, saying, “What’s with the act of being pitiful?” Hearing this, the parent immediately wiped away her tears and stormed out. This was no longer just about sadness but about the dignity of a parent being so “cheaply trampled.” The generation gap has always been a problem that deeply troubles both parents and children in reality.
“I hardly have anything to talk about with my parents. They always ask about my studies, which I find really annoying,” said Zhao Liang, a seventh-grader. “I like talking about football with my classmates, but my mom doesn’t understand or care. So she says I’m just playing all day and never discusses studies.” Now, Zhao Liang says he also has no interest in talking with his parents, feeling like there’s nothing to talk about.
Zhou Lan’s son is in high school. “I used to enjoy chatting with my son, mostly about his studies. But now he seems less willing to listen, often giving vague answers, or sometimes saying nothing at all.” Zhou Lan’s son loves basketball and talks about it enthusiastically. However, whenever Zhou Lan brings it up, she gets angry, saying, “You get annoyed when I mention studies, but you get excited when I talk about basketball.”
Why does an unbridgeable gap appear between generations? It is indeed influenced by the era’s values, but often it is also caused by a lack of communication and understanding between parents and children. Parents have their own set of values, and children have their own. Since they don’t understand each other, conflicts and clashes are inevitable. Therefore, the most effective way to avoid the generation gap is to build a bridge of communication and understanding through respecting the child.
Let me tell you a story that may inspire you: In the grasslands, there was a herdsman who raised many cows. One of his calves was very stubborn. He often refused the herdsman’s commands, leaving the herd whenever he wanted, and entering the grassland whenever he pleased. Sometimes the herdsman found him adorable, but other times he grew very annoyed, thinking him a stubborn calf. He planned to sell him once he grew older.
One night, after returning from herding, the herdsman found the calf stubbornly outside the cow pen again. No matter how he whipped it, the calf remained motionless, refusing to enter. The herdsman was already tired and frustrated. As he whipped the calf, he secretly resolved to kill it if it kept being so stubborn. The herdsman had lost faith in managing the calf.
At that moment, the herdsman’s mother came out of the tent. She looked at the stubborn calf and stopped her son’s whipping. The mother walked up to the calf, gently stroked it, and then took