Speak with tact

Author: Tang Jian
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-09-01
Features: Carnegie said, "Good eloquence is the need for social interaction, the need for career, and the need for survival. It is not only an art, but also a constantly renewing capital for winning career success." As long as you grasp the measure of your words, you hold the key to opening the door to success. People often say, "A person with a sincere heart cannot succeed in officialdom, and a person with poor eloquence finds it hard to manage wealth." In modern society, most successful individuals demonstrate the basic quality of being eloquent and articulate. In this world, interests always flow with people's desires and intentions. The basic tool for expressing desires and intentions is language. Those who speak with measure are often quick-witted and skillfully express various desires and intentions appropriately, gathering various interests in a way that benefits themselves. It is clear that the measure of speech plays an invaluable role in realizing personal value and achieving success in life.
Speech must have a measure. Communication between people, knowing how to speak, what to say, and how to speak in a way that touches the heart of the listener—these are all very important. The art of speaking may seem like a minor skill, but it can turn your life around. In the early years of the Western Han Dynasty, after Emperor Gaozu of Han defeated Xiang Yu and pacified the world, he began to reward his officials based on their contributions. This was a matter of eternal legacy for future generations, and the ministers naturally competed for recognition, arguing for over a year without resolution. Emperor Gaozu of Han believed that Xiao He had the greatest contributions and enfeoffed him as a marquis with a large fief. However, the ministers were dissatisfied and whispered among themselves. Once the enfeoffment and rewards were settled, the dispute over the order of seating flared up again, with many saying, "Marquis Cao Can suffered seventy wounds and led troops to conquer cities and territories, winning battle after battle—his contributions are the greatest, and he should be placed first."
Since Emperor Gaozu had already favored Xiao He in the rewards, some officials felt slighted, but he found it difficult to his stance on seating. However, in his heart, he still wanted Xiao He to be placed first. At this moment, Guan Neihu had already guessed Emperor Gaozu's intentions and, seizing the opportunity, stepped forward and said, "Your peers are mistaken. Cao Can's achievements were only temporary. The Emperor fought against the King of Chu for five years, often losing battles and fleeing, while Xiao He repeatedly sent troops from Guanzhong to fill the gaps in the front lines. For years, the army in Xingyang lacked supplies, and it was Xiao He who transported food to Guanzhong, ensuring the grain supply did not run out. Moreover, on several occasions when the Emperor fled to Shandong, it was Xiao He who preserved Guanzhong, allowing him to be properly supplied. These are the contributions that will last for generations. Even if there were one hundred Cao Cans, what impact would that have on the Han Dynasty? We do not need him to preserve the empire. How can you say that temporary achievements are greater than eternal ones? Therefore, I propose that Xiao He be placed first, with Cao Can in second place."
These words perfectly aligned with Emperor Gaozu's thoughts. Delighted, Emperor Gaozu praised Guan Neihu repeatedly and ordered Xiao He to be placed first, allowing him to carry swords into the palace and not rush when attending court. As a result, Guan Neihu was enfeoffed as the Marquis of Anping, receiving nearly double the land. Thanks to his ability to read people's expressions and his eloquence, he enjoyed a life of wealth and honor.
When speaking, one must know when to say what; once spoken, one must take responsibility for their words. If a person lacks real talent or insight, the words they speak may only temporarily attract others but cannot forever deceive them. Speech must have a measure. When the measure is well-handled, even a simple sentence can add weight, and brevity with precision gives the impression of deep thought. The measure of speech is determined by factors such as the person you are talking to, the topic, and the context. In other words, one must speak with measure. The opposite of "measure" is "excess." What does "excess" mean? Generally speaking, speaking disrespectfully to others, exposing someone's flaws in front of a crowd, or saying what should not be said while omitting what should be said—all of these are manifestations of "excess."
Below, we briefly introduce some taboo topics in conversation. Contacting these topics may lead to...