No animal drama

Author: Li Bo
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features: Jacques: No, I spent all night watching you talk about your new book on TV. Andre: Really? Jacques: Yes, when I heard you talk about Uncle Pierre's frustration, catching frogs, Lisette's scraped knee, and even Grandma drowning, I thought: I could probably talk about these things just as well. I know them all by heart, by the way, and I even remember the butcher's car accident, which you forgot to mention! Andre: That fat Paul, right. Jacques: Why? Because your childhood is also my childhood, just two years difference. Actually, I mean it's two years older than mine. Andre: You think I was born two years earlier than you? Jacques: Exactly! Completely correct! So when I heard the reporters say things like, "We are attracted by the precision" or "This heart-stirring memory!" or "The delicate portrayal," I thought: For goodness sake, Jacques! Seriously! Intelligence isn't about drinking the entire sea! Go, do it! And I did! Andre: You mean you wrote? Jacques: Exactly. I started with the butcher's car accident. And my boss read it—you know my boss? Andre: I don't think I do. Jacques: He's a very delicate, sensitive guy! He's been training his abs since he was very young. Now he has three gymnasiums. Andre: As expected. Jacques: Also, he admires you very much. When he told me I was your brother, he hired me to handle the talcum powder. Andre: Really? Jacques: Yes, he said to me, "The younger brother of the great writer Andre Lamothe can't just sit around doing nothing!" It's a great compliment to you! Andre: Flattery. Jacques: So, because I noticed he really liked your book, and in a way, thanks to you, I started applying talcum powder to his gym equipment. I thought, I'll read him the story about the butcher's car accident. Andre: Good idea. Did he like it? Jacques: He loved it. He said to me, "Jacques, you should start from the beginning." Andre: Start from the beginning? Jacques: Learn, read first before writing. Andre: This guy seems pretty good. Jacques: I told you, he's delicate and sensitive! Of course, I listened to him and started reading, mind you, I read everything. Andre: Good. Jacques: Everything. Rhetoric, logic, dialectics, irony, reasoning, abstract thinking, all of it. I didn't skip anything, not even things that aren't essential for intelligence—I studied them diligently, like emotions. Andre: You did well. Jacques: Yes! Because you're an expert! I kept telling myself, if I could surpass him threefold, how foolish that would be. Who knows? Dialectically speaking, I could easily turn him into loving or hating something—I'm fun, aren't I! Andre: Of course. Jacques: Besides, I really like emotions. Andre: Indeed, emotions are quite interesting. Jacques: Also,