My Life in Europe

Author: Wang Duqing / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publishing Date: 1998-12-01
Features: Since China's doors were opened by strong ships and cannons, studying abroad has become a popular topic, and it is even more prevalent today. What was the picture of early Chinese students studying overseas like? Compared to today's students, what storms and did they experience? This book provides a detailed account of the author's experiences studying in Europe in the 1920s, offering answers to the above questions. The New Century Universal Library is a series of books launched by Liaoning Education Press, aimed at "providing long-lasting, readable, and useful books for readers who thirst for knowledge, demonstrating the necessity of reading activities in modern society, and promoting the formation of a reading culture in society, creating a realm where book lovers can own their own libraries." The series draws from a wide range of materials, reflecting the general outline of human cultural development and selecting a basic bibliography for modern households in the 21st century. My Life in Europe is part of the third volume of this series, published in 1936, and tells the story of the author's studies in France, Italy, Germany, and other parts of Europe in the 1920s. It includes descriptions of personal life as well as reflections on the practical issues faced by many Chinese students studying in Europe at the time, particularly those who worked while studying, were government-sponsored, or received partial funding. The book was written in Europe, with the author's personal travels as the main thread, depicting the scenes of the European continent and recording the true mindset of Chinese students studying abroad. The writing style is fresh and enduring, the narrative clear and straightforward, making it a fine work for reading and appreciation.
Since China's doors were opened by strong ships and cannons, studying abroad has become a popular topic, and it is even more prevalent today. What was the picture of early Chinese students studying overseas like? Compared to today's students, what storms and did they experience? This book provides a detailed account of the author's experiences studying in Europe in the 1920s, offering answers to the above questions. The New Century Universal Library is a series of books launched by Liaoning Education Press, aimed at "providing long-lasting, readable, and useful books for readers who thirst for knowledge, demonstrating the necessity of reading activities in modern society, and promoting the formation of a reading culture in society, creating a realm where book lovers can own their own libraries." The series draws from a wide range of materials, reflecting the general outline of human cultural development and selecting a basic bibliography for modern households in the 21st century. My Life in Europe is part of the third volume of this series, published in 1936, and tells the story of the author's studies in France, Italy, Germany, and other parts of Europe in the 1920s. It includes descriptions of personal life as well as reflections on the practical issues faced by many Chinese students studying in Europe at the time, particularly those who worked while studying, were government-sponsored, or received partial funding. The book was written in Europe, with the author's personal travels as the main thread, depicting the scenes of the European continent and recording the true mindset of Chinese students studying abroad. The writing style is fresh and enduring, the narrative clear and straightforward, making it a fine work for reading and appreciation.
I set foot on European soil in the spring of 1920. I remember when I first encountered Paris, my eyes almost swam with joy. For the first time, I walked along the Seine River, my heart filled with an indescribable surge of happiness. — It is no exaggeration to say that a young man long accustomed to cultural backwardness in the East, upon arriving at the center of capitalist culture, experiences joy that cannot be restrained. Perhaps this joy was too excessive? On the very day I arrived in Paris, wanting to see more places, I hired a car and let the driver take me on a wild tour around the city. I ended up spending all 200 francs I had borrowed from a fellow traveler who had come to France with me on the morning of that day. Two hundred francs was a significant sum for a student in those days, and with no money left after arriving in France, I had spent it all on a half-day of car rides. This incident also revealed my lack of planning and my romantic nature. I remember I didn’t eat that night because after running around the streets, I had no money left. However, this excessive joy did not last long, and my life soon fell into misery. I had planned to stay in Paris for a long time, but unexpectedly, I was exiled to a county in the provinces of France after only one week. The story of how this happened is long. When I set off from Shanghai, I had also thought about my life in Europe. After the May Fourth Movement, many new cultural trends had emerged in major cities like Shanghai and Beijing. Among them, the Youth China Society was one of the most organized and influential. I believe many people still remember this society. At the time, its official magazine was a central platform for intellectual youth to express their ideas. Its members included teachers, students, and journalists with new perspectives, and it had expanded its organization overseas, establishing branches in Germany, France, and the United States. Although I was not a member of the Youth China Society, the people I associated with in Shanghai were all connected to it. At the time, the Paris Correspondence Office of many major Chinese newspapers was run by members of the Youth China Society in Paris. When I was preparing to go to Europe from Shanghai, members of the Youth China Society repeatedly urged me to join the work of the Paris Correspondence Office if I went to Paris. Although I did not make a firm commitment to join the office upon arriving in Paris, I believed that based on my friendship with the society, it would be possible to help them. Of course, my understanding of social life at the time was too simplistic, but at the same time, my eagerness to go to Europe left me little time to consider detailed plans for my life. In this regard, I can be said to have arrived in Europe with an unreliable plan for my future.
If you understand that a person’s actions can have completely opposite effects in our current society, then you can understand why a person who values their reputation may behave in ways that are unquestionably questionable, especially for women in our current society. Fei Yun’s obsession with reputation had almost become a habit: as long as anyone made even a slight negative comment about her, that person became her lifelong enemy. This would be hard to believe for those who knew about her reckless behavior! She was more of a coward than a romantic. Whenever she separated from a man, she would always try to ensure that the man she left behind would not speak ill of her. However, this was often difficult to achieve, and she often felt distressed as a result. I remember that not long after Fei Yun separated from Wang Guangji, she saw an autobiographical piece written by Wang Guangji in a magazine, which only vaguely mentioned her story, and she was immediately furious. It was as if she had a special right: as long as others were loyal to her, she could never be loyal to them in return! This explains why Fei Yun told me not to speak ill of her everywhere. However, as for me, in my complex and distorted psychological state at the time, I had a rather ridiculous tendency to adopt a religious spirit of extreme self-contempt. My actions sometimes revealed a sense of asceticism and toward others. My behavior toward Fei Yun fully demonstrated this ridiculous tendency. I almost did everything according to Fei Yun’s wishes, completely disregarding my own interests. I endured everything that was incompatible with my own heart with a sense of resignation. Who would have thought that I would keep my promise to Fei Yun not to "damage" her—not to speak ill of her—until she caused me almost unbearable pain, until she and I completely separated for the second time. Well, then, let her go! Let her go to her new lover! I always restrained myself from speaking a word, helped her pack her belongings, and accompanied her to J City. Dai Jun, of course, was very enthusiastic, helping her with various matters. Probably to conceal my side for the time being, she did not live with him immediately but rented a house near his residence. She also registered at a women’s Lycee, saying she planned to study seriously. After I had done everything possible for her, I returned to my M City alone on the morning of the sixth day after arriving in J City. I don’t know when I was reading Goethe that I came across a sentence that I could never forget, meaning that humans are always humans, even though they are sometimes ruled by reason, they will ultimately bow to emotion. In that moment on the train to J City, it felt as if this sentence was proven correct. I couldn’t help but lean against the chair back and cry. I didn’t know how I could have so many tears. Suddenly, I became such a weak person! I completely forgot that there were many people sitting around me. It wasn’t until the train whistle blew and the train began to move that I snapped back to reality.
At that time, I met a very helpful friend in Paris, whom I must mention here. This person was what we would call a "strange person." His surname was (Brye), and his name was Robert, a common French name. He was originally a secretary in a library in a provincial town because his ideas were close to the socialist doctrines of Marxism, so he was forced to leave his position by the local government. One of his legs had been lost in the Great War, and he had a prosthetic leg installed in its place, which he always supported with a cane. However, he seemed unconcerned with his disability. Every day, he moved around with great energy, his range of activities being very wide. In addition to trade unions and political groups, he had personal connections with most journalists, writers, artists, professors, and students. His erudition was also astonishing: he had a solid foundation in general science and also possessed special literary talent. In addition, he was knowledgeable in music, painting, architecture, and other specialized arts. However, this was not all. Because he had traveled extensively, his knowledge of languages was also excellent. The only pity was that he had a habit of not enjoying writing and not publishing what he wrote. He could spend entire days answering people’s questions orally but was unwilling to write a single word. In his entire life, he published only a thin pamphlet on geological surveys. He also engaged in writing plays, but even when the manuscript turned yellow, it still had not been published to the public. He seemed to dedicate almost all his energy to practical activities, believing that literary work was entirely unnecessary until society was reformed. He had been a great help to me, not only in terms of knowledge but also in giving me a superficial understanding of European society. He introduced me to many friends and often provided financial assistance in my daily life. This socialist "strange person" had been my associate for less than three years before he died of typhoid fever. He was a bachelor and was probably around fifty years old when he died. I first met this friend in a café in the Latin Quarter. He was engaged in a heated discussion with an old man with a full white beard. I joined their debate on history unintentionally, and it turned out that my arguments aligned with his, and the discussion became more and more intense, and soon we became friends. The old man was Anatole France, a prominent figure in French literature. When the debate ended, this great man shrugged his shoulders in anger after his defeat and kept muttering, "No matter what, I always doubt, I always doubt." Through Brye’s introduction, I also met the ocean writer Loti and other literary figures. Instantly, literature became the main ingredient in my environment, accounting for about 80% of it. I abandoned the philosophy lectures at the Collège de France and began to socialize with the literary circles in Paris. At that time, Barbusse’s Lumière weekly had recently transformed from a small newspaper into a magazine. Barbusse’s critique of the ideas of Roman Rolland sparked a debate. Roman Rolland expressed his views on social reform, believing that Gandhi’s methods were the only commendable ones. The ideas of humanitarianism and violent revolution exploded in the writings of both sides. I had not met either Roman Rolland or Barbusse, but I had always respected Roman Rolland as a modern writer, and yet this time, I was drawn to Barbusse. However, at the same time, I felt that something was missing in Barbusse’s writings. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Now, of course, it is clear that what I felt was missing in Barbusse’s writings was the historical development of class struggle and the explanation of economic determinism. This has always been a weakness of Barbusse’s, and even to this day, his arguments are often filled with mists of ideology and mysticism. I dare say that if Barbusse does not advance further, when great events in Europe occur, he will be in great danger, because the historical progress of dialectical materialism cannot tolerate the existence of a speaker who does not understand the process of human liberation. All of Barbusse’s past discussions on revolution always reminded me of some similarities to Bauchet, as criticized by Marx.
After the summer of that year, I spent some time in Belgium and Germany. There was nothing noteworthy about Belgium. In Germany, I lived in Berlin, and my footsteps were mostly in libraries and art museums. To say that I was willing to completely embrace decadence was never true. As soon as I arrived in Berlin, the more serious atmosphere compared to Paris drew me back into the realm of academic study. I was guided by an elderly professor to explore subjects like history, geography, and archaeology, which opened up a whole new world for me. Using my foundation in biology, I connected these disciplines, and immediately, many new facts appeared before me. Gradually, I delved into the margins of Mariam’s economic history. Although I couldn’t digest it at the time, I knew it was the key to solving all disciplines. With this faint and vague knowledge, when I studied Freud’s psychology, I had a fierce debate with a scholar who was guiding me in this field. I believed that Freud’s theory of the unconscious should be based on social and economic foundations; otherwise, it would not explain anything. Of course, I did not convince the scholar, or at least, on the surface, the scholar seemed to have convinced me. However, I remained firm in my opinion.