0-6 years old children's parenting encyclopedia - Learn basic life habits and social behavior norms

Author: Sugihara Masumi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: The "returning to infancy phenomenon" reflects a child's desire to be spoiled by parents. When a younger sibling is about to be born, parents must consider how to handle the child who will soon become a big brother or big sister. After the baby arrives, even if the older child has successfully developed good habits, they may suddenly start struggling and fall into the so-called "returning to infancy phenomenon." Originally, the child had exclusive access to their parents' affection and care, but now a rival to their position has appeared, naturally causing the child great distress, which is understandable. It's hard to teach them to use the toilet, and now they suddenly wet the bed even without being reminded; they used to dress themselves, but now suddenly demand their mother to put on and take off their clothes for them; they even refuse to feed themselves and insist on being fed by their parents; or perhaps the previously calmed "rebellious phase" aggressive behavior reappears, becoming rougher, even bullying the younger child. This behavior and attitude reflect a strong desire in the child to receive more attention from their parents and to be loved just like a newborn baby. Parents should first show their children that they fully understand their feelings. If parents scold the child: "You're already a big brother (big sister), it's not appropriate to be spoiled anymore!" "Don't make things difficult for your mother!" the child will only become more distressed, and the "returning to infancy phenomenon" will worsen. After taking care of the baby, the mother should tightly hug the older child and say, "Mom loves you very much!" During the day, when the younger child is asleep or happily playing alone, the mother should hold the older child on her lap for a while, consciously increasing skin-to-skin contact and talking more with them. When the older child helps take care of the baby, the mother should immediately praise them: "Thank you! You've really helped me a lot, you're such a great big brother!" When their role is recognized by their mother, the child will feel a sense of fulfillment and pride in being a big brother or sister, fostering a caring attitude toward the younger child. P108-P109