Wine red, ice blue

Author: Jiedan / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-08-01
Features:
At 32, He Dan is still considered young, but she often hears the rustling sound of her own withering in the night. She is a cultural journalist, covering film, television, and music. Such journalists are now commonly referred to as entertainment reporters. For a 32-year-old woman, the job of an entertainment reporter feels a bit overwhelming—not due to physical exhaustion, but a matter of mindset. Whenever she attends celebrity press conferences with a group of enthusiastic, newly debuted entertainment reporters, He Dan feels a mix of awkwardness. She has completely lost interest in celebrities, even when face-to-face with the idols she once admired years ago, she finds the experience utterly unfulfilling. Group interviews are manageable enough, as other reporters in attendance naturally ask the passionate questions that require enthusiasm, either to support or challenge her. She simply records their contributions. However, one-on-one interviews are a different story. Due to her newspaper's monopoly in Chengdu, she has more opportunities to conduct exclusive interviews than other reporters. Without her own enthusiasm, the celebrities naturally have none, and as a result, her articles become increasingly dry and lifeless, prompting her superiors to sigh in frustration more often. He Dan knows she can't keep eating this kind of meal. What can she do? She has been a journalist for 10 years. What can she start over now? She has been pondering this question since 2000. By the second half of the year, a possibility emerged—being transferred to the documentary department of a television station as a director. A friend helping her make the connection said the matter might be resolved by January of the following year. Then, she could join a crew to scout the Sichuan-Yunnan border and shoot a documentary about local marriage customs. After her 32nd birthday, her life situation might undergo a significant change. This made He Dan suddenly feel a renewed desire for her career. She has a superficial understanding of the life of television people, knowing only that it is exhausting and mundane. But making documentaries seems more interesting than covering entertainment news. She began to yearn for it.
According to He Dan's initial passion when she first entered the industry 10 years ago, her career has become quite dim now. She once had ideals like Oriana Fallaci but had them extinguished within a short time. After working as a journalist for a while, she realized she had no love for the profession at all. She dislikes the fast-paced, efficient lifestyle and lacks the ability to adapt to it. Once she recognized this, her self-expectations in her career plummeted to a near-careless state, but those who know her can sense that her calmness comes from within, not from necessity. She is a woman accustomed to meditation, fond of mysterious prophecies and self-suggestions. She prefers to immerse herself in emotional atmospheres, indulging equally in both sorrow and joy.
As her university classmate Wu Xiaomei puts it, He Dan was born as a woman who must fall in love. In love, she possesses a rare, captivating, almost maniacal quality. He Dan is a beautiful woman. Her beauty is sharp, melancholic, and carries an enigmatic, neurotic edge. As a result, people are more inclined to praise her aura. As for her complexion, however, it is quite ordinary. She has a slight pallor but a somewhat robust figure. Together, they resemble a healthy woman in an emotional low. Her eyes are the most striking feature of her facial appearance, appearing distant and hazy, giving the impression that she lacks a strong sense of reality. In truth, the primary reason for this effect is her nearsightedness.
P4-5