The Secret to Family Happiness - (Import Edition)

Author: Sigrun Lea
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-05-01
Features: Just as about 70% of the Earth's surface is covered by water, 70% of the human body is also composed of water. Words, music, and even thoughts can cause such significant crystal changes. As a result, there are countless possibilities to positively influence our food, bodies, and environment. When we place water in bottles labeled with individual tags and consciously influence its crystal structure, we will understand how a parent might label a child to influence their heart. If we give children love and gratitude, they will develop in the same way we give it to them. Much has been written about love; almost every song, most movies, and a large number of books revolve around the theme of love: love may be "blind," or men and women may be "unconscious or irrational." We are all familiar with this explanation: he or she is in a ridiculous state because they are in love. Although there have been many books published recently on themes of happiness and love, after reading countless books, most of us still view the theme of love as a problem rather than an answer. Based on my understanding of this topic, I would like to draw on the insights of Abraham H. Maslow. Maslow, regarded as a pioneer in the study of human character potential, named two different forms of love in his work Psychologie des Seins: one is "love of lack" (love of desire, selfish love), and the other is "love of being" (love of existence, love without expectation or selflessness). Maslow meticulously described the different qualities of these two forms of love: love of lack is dependent, timid, and prone to possessiveness. Because losing someone increases one's sense of lack, the presence of the other is used to fill one's void and defects. In contrast, love of being is a genuine and deep sense of one's own and the other's essential existence. It makes one sensitive and insightful, and is expressed through trust and a lack of fear. According to Maslow, "love of being" is more commendable than love of desire, as it does not cause any discomfort and can actually provide lasting joy. Love of being can be deepened by being given; whereas love of lack is merely about receiving love. To apply Maslow's conclusion to our role as parents and to connect it with our own childhood experiences, I will distinguish between "conditional love" and "unconditional love" below. As I have mentioned before, the problems that arise between us and our children stem from our adherence to the habitual roles we were taught, while our children insist on their right to self-development. The formation of our roles is due to the conditional love we received from our parents, or the imprint our environment left on our childhood. To prevent this from recurring in our children, we must examine the effects of this conditional love on a child's emotional development. Conditional love links giving with conditions. For example: "If you behave like this, then I love you, and then I will give you something in return, etc." Love is only given when these conditions are met; otherwise, it is withheld. P70-71