Rural Humor - Culture and Life Section

Author: Wen Sheng / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features:
1. Without opening the heavens' eyes, the human eye cannot see. During the Qianlong era of the Qing Dynasty, there was a scholar named Dai Quheng in Dayu, Jiangxi. Although talented in literature, the county examiner was blind to his worth, leaving him without the title of a xiucai (a junior scholar) even at the age of 30. His relatives and literary friends, unable to accept this, helped him purchase a "xiucai" title to take the provincial examination in the capital. In 80 days, Dai Quheng passed the exams consecutively, becoming the top scholar (zhuangyuan). On that day, the newly appointed top scholar, dressed in splendid robes, returned to his hometown and wrote a couplet in anger at the entrance of his ancestral hall:
"Thirty years ago, the county examination was nameless, the prefecture examination was nameless, and the circuit examination was also nameless. Without opening the heavens' eyes, the human eye cannot see. In eighty days, the local examination was passed, the provincial examination was passed, and the palace examination was also passed. I took off my blue robe and put on a purple robe!" The county examiner, hearing this, was so terrified that he disguised himself and fled overnight.
2. You don’t know jack. Before An Lushan rebelled against the Tang Dynasty, he served as the Military Commissioner of Shuofang, commanding a powerful army. Despite being a warrior, he left behind a brilliant anecdote in history about his boasting. The story occurred after An Lushan rebelled and declared himself the emperor of Da Yan. At that time, he had gathered a large number of scholars and literati around him, who often recited poems and odes praising his achievements. Old An believed himself superior and had no difficulty in composing poetry. One day, a batch of cherries was presented to him, and he ordered them to be placed in a basket as a gift to his son, Prince An Kangxi, and his favorite minister, Zhou Zhi. He then swiftly wrote an imperial poem titled "Ode to Cherries":
"A basket of cherries, half red and half yellow. Half for Prince An Kangxi, half for Minister Zhou Zhi."
After finishing the poem, An Lushan had the scholars circulate it among the officials. The officials only heaped praise on it. One bold official said, "Your Majesty’s imperial poem is extremely brilliant! However, the third and fourth lines would be even better if they were swapped, as it would fit the rhyme and tone better." An Lushan listened and widened his eyes in anger: "You don’t know jack! If the third and fourth lines are swapped, my son would end up behind Zhou Zhi! No way!" Thus, Old An firmly wore the crown of the master of boasting.
After An Lushan, there have been many masters of boasting. Notably, there was a shallow but arrogant figure named Lin Keshan. To elevate his status, he claimed to be the distant descendant of Lin Hejing, a famous Song Dynasty hermit and poet. This boast did indeed many people, but it could not fool the discerning. After all, Lin Hejing was known for his reclusiveness and lifelong bachelorhood, having never married. Due to his deep love for plum blossoms and red-crowned cranes, he was even known for the saying, "Taking plum blossoms as a wife and red-crowned cranes as children." How could Lin Hejing have a descendant named Lin Keshan, even after seven generations? At that time, a sharp-tongued scholar named Jiang Shizhou played a joke on Lin Keshan, presenting him with a witty poem:
"Back then, Hejing never took a wife,
Why did seven generations have a son?
If not for plum seeds and crane seeds,
Then it must be gourd skin tied to plum skin!"
The above poem is meant to amuse but also serves as a lesson for those who suffer from this affliction—perhaps it’s better not to blow such big balloons!
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