Explore set

Author: Ba Jin
Publisher:
Publishing Date: 2006-05-01
Features: I have compiled the thirty essays (from the 31st to the 60th) of Random Thoughts that were originally serialized in Hong Kong's Ta Kung Pao according to the planned schedule, along with one appendix (Me and Literature), into a collection as the second volume of Random Thoughts. The new collection has its own name: Exploration Collection. I named the second volume Exploration without any profound meaning, but because this volume includes five essays titled "Exploration" among the "Random Thoughts." In fact, all the "Random Thoughts" are my explorations. Every reader of Random Thoughts has the right to express their opinions. Of course, I can also insist on my own views. If my articles and statements hurt someone, others also have the right to retaliate. If the sticks rain down and manage to drive me to "self-annihilation" with those articles and statements, then that can only be blamed on myself. But if the sticks miss the mark, I will still stubbornly survive, and my "Random Thoughts" will certainly not "perish." This much can be asserted.
Recently, a few students from Hong Kong University published several differing opinions—or perhaps harsh criticisms—about my Random Thoughts in the magazine Open Book: "neglecting literary techniques," "grammatically awkward," and so on, and so on. A splash of cold water in the face has been a good thing for me; it has kept me. I have thought about it calmly for a long time. I do not blush for my thirty "awkward" Random Thoughts; on the contrary, I am happy that I wrote them. Since I first stepped into the literary world, I have repeatedly declared that I am not a literary figure. Even in April of this year, when speaking to Japanese readers in Tokyo, I repeated this old tune. It is not that I enjoy recycling old material, but simply to let people know that I am walking a different path. I have never thought of dressing myself up cleverly to please others, nor have I ever considered using flowery words to fabricate stories for entertainment. As I have said, it is the suffering of most people and my own suffering that have driven me to pick up my pen and write endlessly. I love my country and my people. Without it, without them, I cannot survive, let alone write. I write to fight, to expose, to accuse, to contribute to the nation and its people, but never to beautify myself. I write novels, and my teacher is Rousseau (Rousseau). From the author of Confessions, I learned honesty and the refusal to tell lies. I wrote Family only to lodge a protest against the decadent feudal system and to plead for the young lives that were brutally crushed. I do not use literary techniques; instead, I move readers with the author's spiritual world and genuine emotions, encouraging them to move forward. The highest realm of my writing, my ideal, is not perfect technique, but Gorky's "Danko the Warrior" in the grassland stories—"He tore open his own chest with his hands, took out his heart, and held it high above his head." For over fifty years, I have been attacked several times. The "Gang of Four" burned my works and drove me out of the literary world. But after they fell, the readers brought me back. So, what should I write? Should I engage in deep contemplation, meticulously polish my words, and sing dirges for the bygone old era? No, that is impossible! I will not leave the path of the past. I will lay bare my burning heart and speak from the bottom of my soul. I must fulfill my promise to continue writing Random Thoughts as the "last will and testament" left to future generations by my generation of writers. I will write about some of the gains and hardships from my decades of creative journey. But more importantly: to provide a summary of the "Cultural Revolution." I have lived through the entire process of the "Cultural Revolution," and I have a responsibility to share some of my true feelings with future generations. The university students criticized me for using the term "Gang of Four" four times in thirty articles. Their innocence is admirable. During my time in the "cattle shed," the Red Guards labeled me a "spiritual aristocrat," and I took pride in this title. In reality, these Hong Kong university students are the true, blissful "spiritual aristocrats," standing high above others. The mainland of China was ravaged by the "Gang of Four" for ten years, countless people suffered persecution, the national economy reached the brink of collapse, and the marks of the "Gang of Four's" atrocities are still on three generations. Does living in Hong Kong and being part of the motherland have no connection to the flesh and blood? To ask what "technique" is violated by mentioning the "Gang of Four" more often is to show a lack of understanding. In future Random Thoughts, I will devote even more space to discussing the "Gang of Four." The "Gang of Four" was far more than just "four people"; it was far more complex. I did not fully understand it at first, and even today, I am still exploring. However, my eyes are far sharper than they were a decade ago. How did the "Cultural Revolution" begin? How did people turn into "beasts"? I will eventually uncover the truth. Though I move slowly, I never stop; I dig at others' wounds, and I dig at my own. How difficult is this work! Can I dig deep? Will I dare to dig deep? Will there be results? This is also a test for me. The past ten years were terrifying! We all have a responsibility to ensure that such a catastrophe never happens again. Every time I close my eyes, the cruel people and absurd events of those years resurface. I have a feeling that if we do not make up our minds, the tragedy of the past ten years will repeat itself. If everyone has a penchant for cleanliness and refuses to see the word "Gang of Four," thinking that clinging to the so-called "literary technique" can transform them into beautiful women and elevate them to heaven, then "cattle sheds" will appear everywhere, and a single "decree" can strip people of all their rights. The far-left ideology still has a market today, and in some countries, people still do not understand how we endured those ten years of chaos. I told a Japanese writer that we only suffered so that you could see clearly what happened. In my opinion, he may not fully understand, and we have not explained it to them clearly. Two years ago, foreign friends often asked me, "The 'Gang of Four' consisted of only four people, why did they have such great power?" I hesitated and did not answer them directly. But when summarizing the ten years of experience, I calmly reflected: one cannot blame everything on the "Gang of Four." I have admitted that I bowed to their authority and submitted to their rule, but does that mean I had no responsibility? Does no one else have responsibility? Regardless, I must write my summary. I plan to spend five years writing the five volumes of Random Thoughts. This is my responsibility, and it is also my right.