No child is disobedient

Author: Zhang Xianyong Yan Xiaoxia
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-01-01
Features: This is a captivating book on parenting wisdom. A lively and mischievous pair of children, along with their wise and humorous parents, together unfold a series of amusing life stories. Life stories are used to teach life education, and concise language explains simple parenting communication skills. Indeed, there are no unruly children in this world, only parents who don’t know how to communicate. There are no bad children, only bad parenting methods. This book is a guide that starts with the details of communication, teaching us how to educate children. Through life stories, the book tells parents that they must learn to respect their children’s natural tendencies, appreciate them, give them more understanding and love, set aside parental authority, and communicate with them as equals. Guide them patiently and help them step by step. It is unfair for parents to simply scold their children for being "unruly." We were all children once, and we all had moments of misbehavior, preferences for what we liked and disliked. These are all normal. First, the reason people differ is that each has a unique brain. Your brain determines your consciousness, thinking, emotions, and behavior. Our children, especially those in the process of growing up, are the same. Psychological research shows that children go through two rebellious phases in their psychological development. The first is the childhood rebellion phase, typically occurring between 2.5 and 4 years old. After the age of 2, children’s motor and language skills develop, and their self-awareness and independence improve. At this stage, they imitate while also desiring to break free from adult constraints and try their own strength, wanting to do everything themselves. If parents overstep and take over, depriving them of opportunities to try and practice, they may develop negative emotional reactions—crying, tantrums, or even rejection and rebellious behavior. The second rebellion phase is between 12 and 16 years old, also known as the "psychological weaning" phase. This period is a turning point from childhood to adulthood, often marked by emotional instability. With the development of self-awareness and increased subjective initiative, children shift from dependence on parents to showing independence, beginning to incorporate their own perspectives into their parents’ demands and arrangements. As their cognitive and thinking abilities improve, they start to evaluate the words and actions of parents, teachers, and elders. They crave freedom and equal discussions with parents, participation in family management, and a sense of being a formal member of the family. It is best not to treat them as children, as they dislike excessive restrictions, limitations, and interference from parents and teachers. They desperately want to break free from parental supervision, hoping for their own space and an environment for independent development. Therefore, if we ignore psychological patterns and simply restrict children through blame or scolding, the result will naturally be counterproductive. At this point, we must learn to respect their natural tendencies, appreciate them, give them more understanding and love, set aside parental authority, and communicate with them as equals, guiding them patiently and helping them step by step. Of course, putting these basic principles into practice requires reflecting on the details of daily education. This means mastering certain communication skills and methods. To some extent, communication is education. I believe There Are No Unruly Children is a book that starts with the details of communication, teaching us how to educate children.