Riddle: Zhang Mi in her true colors

Author: Zhang Mi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-06-01
Features: At the age of 14, I left my hometown with 25 yuan and entered an art school in Inner Mongolia, starting my singing career and finally realizing my dream of becoming a singer. I don’t know how to describe the joy I felt at the time. Later, I was borrowed by a dance and music troupe for an internship. Everything there was unfamiliar and hard, but my heart was full of curiosity and novelty. I was assigned to a dormitory converted from a temple, which was eerie at first. Those days, I often followed a small team to the grasslands for small performances. We had to carry our own luggage and stay with herdsmen at night. At that time, my lung disease, which had not yet healed, flared up again. I had fever and coughed up blood. My monthly salary was only 25 yuan, and there was no money to buy medicine. My face was pale, and my body was weak. Soon, I was dismissed by the dance and music troupe. This sudden blow left me unsure of where to go. Heartbroken and helpless, I packed my belongings. In the early morning, before the sun was fully up, I rented a donkey cart and left the place where many of my dreams had originated. I was lost and bewildered, bought a platform ticket, and casually boarded a train. Looking out the window at the desolate desert, it mirrored my mood. It wasn’t until I realized the train was heading north that I remembered there was still a place to go—Mudanjiang. My brother was working there temporarily. I forgot about hunger and sleep, riding a hard-sprung train for two days and two nights. When I finally found my brother after much trouble, I couldn’t speak a word. My voice was completely hoarse, and only tears fell silently from my eyes. My brother, seeing my pitiful state, held me tightly in his arms, crying out of heartache. After many days, I carried my luggage, dried my tears, and took the exam for the Fuxin County Cultural Troupe in Liaoning Province. I passed the exam and became a temporary trial performer in the troupe. Here, I practiced tirelessly every day, sitting in the practice room for seven or eight hours. Singing allowed me to express my emotions and find solace in the music. Six months later, I read in a newspaper that the Luoyang Dance and Music Troupe in Henan Province was recruiting. This made me want to give it a try, as there were almost no performances in this county’s troupe, and I couldn’t improve myself. I left here and boarded a train heading south. The carriage was packed with people, leaving almost no space to stand. I squeezed my way to a small spot on the aisle. Though thirsty, dirty, and exhausted, the thought of possibly getting into the troupe lifted my spirits. I thought Luoyang was a civilized ancient city, and it must be a mysterious place. I carried my luggage to the head of the Luoyang Dance and Music Troupe and explained my background. I passed the exam at the rehearsal hall and became a temporary member of the vocal team. I joined a performance team for tours in Shandong Province. The performances were very tough; we had to carry our own luggage. To save costs, we performed on stage during the day and slept in the backstage area at night. Sometimes, we were covered in bites from mosquitoes of all sizes, the stinging pain was unbearable! At that time, my lung disease was still severe. During performances, I kept taking injections and medicine. Whenever we arrived at a performance location, the first thing I did was ask where the hospital was. My body was weak and frail, and after each performance, I was drenched in sweat. Despite enduring constant pain every day, I refused to stop. I feared days without work. This tour lasted for three months, and each performance earned me five yuan in labor fees. During transit, I sometimes took long-distance buses or squeezed onto trains. After ending this lonely tour, my life returned to the usual lonely and friendless routine. A year later, I moved from Luoyang to Zhengzhou. It seemed that the higher the level of the troupe, the more complicated it became. Without friends or family, I was often ignored, criticized, and excluded. Because my singing was popular, I was often envied by singers who had once been famous in the troupe. They would fabricate stories to slander me, causing those around me to despise me. From then on, I grew accustomed to malicious attacks, strangeness, and loneliness. The people I trusted betrayed me one after another. I learned to endure and became quieter. Thanks to a teacher’s recommendation, I passed the exam for the Beijing Film and Television Troupe. Beijing! The place I had long dreamed of since childhood, with Tiananmen, beautiful streets, large shopping malls, and great stages. There were so many cultural groups, and I had singers I admired. My heart was filled with fantasies, and for so many years, I had dreamed of becoming a member of a cultural group in the capital of our great motherland! When I arrived in Beijing alone with my luggage, my heart was so proud and excited! I remember that the exam scene was incredibly tense, as the hall was filled with familiar singers and composers. My palms were cold, and my heart was pounding. I kept telling myself, “Don’t be nervous. If you don’t pass, just go back to Henan.” I told myself to stay calm. When I finished singing, I was surprised to see the whole hall erupt in enthusiastic applause. From their faces, I saw hope. Zhang Mi, an introverted and unassuming person, always delivers a powerful impact whenever she appears. This makes us understand something called charm, a beauty that flows from the inside and cannot be adorned by any fancy clothes. After her boyfriend published My Sexy Girlfriend Zhang Mi, Zhang Mi released another masterpiece, Mystery—Authentic Zhang Mi, featuring highly artistic and lifelike photographs. In the photo collection, Zhang Mi showcases her perfect body and shares her skincare secrets. She hopes to use her own experience to tell Chinese women that time can only make a woman more fabulous, as long as you stay passionate about life. Although my arrival brought joy to my family, as time passed, I grew from a babbling toddler into a restless “grasshopper”! Due to my competitiveness and stubbornness, after a day’s work, my parents often looked at each other helplessly and asked in unison, “Heaven! Who does she resemble? Is she even a girl?” Before receiving an award on stage, I kept telling myself to stay calm and not cry. But when the host announced my results and I received the golden trophy, I couldn’t help but burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably! This wasn’t tears of excitement! It was tears of grievances—ten years of grievances! At that moment, I felt as if my mother had passed away. She must have! I had never been this lucky! It must have been my mother who sacrificed her life for this honor! After much thought, I realized that someone like me, who sleeps at 10 p.m. and wakes up at 7:30 a.m., doesn’t smoke, drink, socialize, or visit bars, is essentially an outsider doing the work of those inside. A person who lags behind the times can only rely on their own money to do their own things, which is the most reliable way. What truly puzzles me is that you don’t know which words the other person says are true, you don’t know who to trust, and you don’t know what they’re thinking. I’m truly tired of dealing with people, and this is the real exhaustion.