Folk customs and culture tour

Author: Feng Haiqing
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2003-08-01
Features: China Cultural Tourism Series. This book is part of the China Cultural Tourism Series. In addition to providing detailed introductions to traditional folk customs, travel, transportation, and tourism information, it also offers special tips and related poems, hoping it will become your loyal guide and companion in exploring folk customs.
The groom lives in Sanzhongpu, and the bride lives in Baishi Lake.
Just a few steps apart, can the groom turn back to see the bride?
Leeks in bloom, a branch in full glory,
When the flowers are yellow, the leaves are lush.
May the groom pick the flowers with the leaves,
And never part even in death.
The groom drums, and the bride beats the gong,
Kneeling to pray to Mazu, the goddess of the west.
Suffering enough from longing in this life,
Pray for no torment in the next.
In the shade, they pound betel nuts,
Mixing medicine sauce to offer the groom.
May the groom not mind the bitterness,
Taste the sweet and bitter in its depths.
The groom gives the bride zixing wood,
And the bride gives the groom butterfly orchids.
The crimson blood tears may end,
But the butterfly's wings droop, never dry.
When a couple in a walking marriage has a child,
On the second day of birth, the bride's family holds a naming ceremony for the child and visits the groom's family to congratulate them. The groom's family then sends a woman with abundant food to visit the bride's family.
For the child's full moon and the "coming-of-age" ceremony at age thirteen, the groom's family presents gifts.
All children live with their mothers and carry their mothers' surnames, raised together by their mothers, uncles, aunts, and other female relatives.
When the children grow up, they also bear the primary responsibility of supporting these elders.
The groom is not a member of the bride's family and has no legal obligation to raise the children, but he provides necessary care in labor and material life for the bride's family.
Thus, for Mosuo men, their main focus is raising their nieces together with their sisters.
Therefore, the Mosuo people say, "Women are the roots, without them, the lineage ends," and "Uncles are closer than fathers."
Because the Axio partners live separately in their mothers' homes and have no financial ties or close daily contact, the Axio relationship is inherently unstable, lasting varying lengths depending on the bond—short as days or months, long as years or decades, even lifelong.
Ending an Axio relationship is also relatively free and easy, generally requiring no formal procedures.
If during the Axio relationship, either partner discovers the other has fallen in love with someone else, behaves unethically, or has a falling out, the relationship is dissolved.
The groom can send a message to end the Axio relationship, or simply say to the bride, "I won't come anymore."
Of course, if the groom visits the bride infrequently, it also means he has voluntarily ended the Axio relationship.
If the bride no longer wishes to maintain the Axio relationship, she can directly tell the groom not to visit her home, or avoid seeing him when he comes.
The groom, feeling awkward, rationally withdraws and stops visiting, ending the Axio relationship.
Since it does not involve property division or child custody, ending an Axio relationship rarely causes disputes or conflicts.
Both parties can handle it calmly, as if nothing happened, and even maintain a good friendship.
Therefore, reconciliation after breaking up is also possible.
Now, more Axio partners are registering, and Axio marriage is gradually moving toward monogamy.
However, by the shores of Lugu Lake, we still see families without husbands, fathers, grandfathers, grandmothers, or daughters—only mothers and children, led by elderly women.
And such unique families will continue to exist for a long time.
Regarding the origins of Axio marriage, scholars have that it dates back over a thousand years ago...