Zhu Yeqing's Miscellaneous Series: Dizziness Philosophy

Author: Zhu Yeqing
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2004-05-01
Features: "In life, only the endless musings are truly mine, for I can freely command them. I am also quite willing to record these musings into words. Although I know that words possess a special right, I do not write them to gain rights. In truth, I merely want the flesh to experience the physiological pleasure between musings and the transformation into words. Only this unique physiological pleasure can temporarily make me forget that I am 'alive'—a fact that I can never truly confirm. Because of its uncertainty, it instead drives my musings to continue multiplying, becoming increasingly vague and hazy, and when transformed into words, they become like drunken footsteps—unsteady, tipsy, and chaotic. For me, words are not very important; they are merely a way to carry life, allowing the words to suffer while enabling myself to escape from this chaotic and inexplicable delusion. But where to go, I am quite confused. So I assume that thoughts should naturally be chaotic—without chaos, how can they become thoughts? Whether scholarship requires chaos, I do not know, because I am not very good at scholarship. Whenever I start, my head always gets dizzy. Scholarship requires systematicization, generally speaking, but I happen to be unskilled in systems and organization. This dizziness might stem from this very thing."