Complete Sex Education Handbook: Discussing Sex with Children Aged 2-12 Easily

Author: (USA) Berkincan, (USA) Atkin
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-20
Features:
· Development of Gender Differences: The Strongman Meets Barbie
Before infants can fully understand the physiological differences between boys and girls, they begin to notice the role differences between the two genders in social settings and can thus distinguish between them. Most three-year-olds can clearly tell you who are girls and who are boys. Their distinctions may even include a long list of representatives that would leave parents stunned.
Children are not born capable of clearly distinguishing between gender roles. Through their experiences in the world and their observations of the people around them, they form a set of impressions: what boys should do and what girls should do.
When imitating the behavior of individuals of the same gender, infants receive positive reinforcement. In other words, if your preschooler plays with blocks and receives positive responses from adults, but if he plays with dolls, he may be ridiculed and invalidated.
Think about the birthday gifts you choose for children. If the recipient is a boy, would you feel that a Barbie doll is more appropriate than a toy truck? Most people would instinctively exclude Barbie dolls. They would not let their sons play with dolls, nor would they give boys' toys to girls. Similarly, they would not give boys' toys to girls.
This is how gender is distinguished based on stereotypical and fixed impressions. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we all do this. Children learn it unconsciously through osmosis.
When discussing specific values, make sure your words and actions align. For example, if you have said that both fathers and mothers should share household chores and take care of children, you must follow through. Children see things as they are.
If you are watching TV or reading with your child, or if you notice inappropriate gender-related behavior in daily life, you should immediately explain it to your child and, at a later time, teach them by example.
When trying to instill the values you deem appropriate in children, don’t just talk without action. Timely and consistent correction is crucial. It is even more important than later explaining who has a penis and who doesn’t.