Governor of Hong Kong Speaks of China (Another Version)

Author: (English) Black
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features: The way Chinese people handle arranged marriages, where parents make decisions about their children's unions, is somewhat similar to the marriage practices of Irish farmers. The family of the young man typically sends a matchmaker to the girl's home to propose and negotiate. Throughout the entire process, both sides strictly adhere to etiquette. However, there is an unconstrained and unable barrier that is not legally restricted, which is that the groom and bride cannot share the same surname. The only exception is Henan Province, where the prohibition on same-surname marriages is largely ignored. As long as we consider that among 400 million Chinese people, there are only over 100 surnames, we can understand the strictness of this restriction. Perhaps there are four million people with the surname Wang in China, but none of them can marry any of the four million women with the same surname. Since marriage is a major event in a Chinese woman's life, as long as her family can afford it, she will do her best to make the wedding as grand and luxurious as possible. The night before she leaves her ancestral home, her dowry and gifts are sent to the new residence. Several years ago, a wealthy gentleman in Guangzhou hired 700 laborers to form a long procession to transport the dowry, some of which were gifts that appeared magnificent and were extremely valuable. The next day, the groom arrived with a bridal procession of 200 people to fetch the bride. Some rode high-slung horses, others formed a military-style lineup with guns, some carried trays of candies and sweetmeats, and several children were dressed as auspicious fairies. The bridal procession was led by familiar red lanterns and a band, and a 30-foot-long dragon led the way. Boys used wooden sticks to support the dragon's legs and body, leaping and dancing to keep it lively and spirited. The bride sat in a finely carved and decorated sedan chair, carried through the procession. The chair was red, with blue feathers of the kingfisher carefully attached to it, making it colorful and eye-catching. Upon arriving at the new home, the bride encountered customary rituals. First, she was carried across the threshold, where a small fire was placed to prevent her from bringing any evil luck into the house. Carrying the bride over the threshold of the new home is also a common practice among the Highlanders of Scotland. When Princess Louise, later the Duchess of Argyll, married, she entered Inveraray Castle in the same way. According to custom, the second day after the wedding, the bride must use firewood from her dowry to start a fire and cook rice with the groom's family's rice. It is said that according to tradition, everything needed for a newlywed couple's household must be included in the bride's dowry. Recently, at a wedding ceremony in Macau, the bride panicked and discovered that her dowry did not include firewood. Her kind-hearted mother-in-law offered to give her some, but the proud bride refused. She called her mother, who instructed her to take two bolts of silk fabric from her dowry, each worth about 40 yuan. She used those two bolts of silk to cook a meal. Later, her father visited, and she told him about this. Her father replied, "Dear daughter, you did the right thing; you saved your father's face." Upon returning, he immediately dispatched 100 laborers to deliver firewood, so much that the groom's house couldn't even store it all. Sometimes, there is also a "housewarming" ritual during weddings, but in well-mannered families, such occasions rarely involve inappropriate behavior. Below is a description of what happened when one of our friends had her housewarming after her wedding.
That day, when we arrived, the ladies had just finished dinner, while the gentlemen were still seated in the dining room. During the dinner, the bride had already served the guests wine table by table, a ritual that her mother-in-law had already performed the previous night. At that moment, the bride entered the room, dressed in a magnificent and exquisite red phoenix robe, adorned with various long ribbon-like decorations and a large collar made of gold and red translucent fabric. She wore a phoenix crown, with a pearl mask fastened on both sides of her face, and her expression seemed playful and smiling. However, the previous night, she had appeared shy and timid, her eyes downcast. Therefore, seeing her radiant and completely different today was truly a relief.
After the gentlemen entered, the housewarming ritual began. The guests came up with various riddles for the bride to solve, and she skillfully answered two or three of them. They then presented a complex Japanese riddle, but the mother-in-law stepped in and said that such a difficult riddle was not suitable for the bride to solve. The groom entered, and the gentlemen present asked him and the bride to walk around the room together. The couple complied, and the gentlemen then asked them to repeat it. Someone suggested that the bride should move the pearl mask hanging over her face to the sides of her cheeks so that everyone present could see her face. After she did so, some poetic and playful activities began. A gentleman in the family stood near the bride to judge whether she could answer the questions correctly. Everyone asked the bride to ask her husband to hold her hand and inquire about the benefits of marrying her. The bride was also required to walk around the room, greet the gentlemen present with tea, and bow to one or two relatives or close family members, though one or two people also bowed to her, which certainly involves issues of seniority. Of course, some of the comments about the bride would surely make any young lady feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, but these remarks were in Chinese, so we did not understand them.
The purpose of the housewarming custom is to test the bride's temperament, character, and wit. P15-19