Carnegie's Happy Life: Techniques to Overcome Worry and Live Joyfully

Author: Dale Carnegie (USA)
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-02-01
Features: I will never forget a few years ago, when a student of mine, Marian Douglas, told us about the tragic misfortune that had befallen his family—not just once, but twice. The first time, he lost his 5-year-old daughter, who was his very cherished child. Both he and his wife thought they could not bear the blow. However, as he said, "10 months later, God gave us another little daughter, but she died after only 5 days." This series of blows was almost unbearable. "I couldn’t take it," the father told us, "I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t rest or relax. I was mentally crushed, with no faith left." Later, he went to see a doctor. One doctor recommended sleeping pills, while another suggested he go on a trip. He tried both methods, but neither worked for him. He said, "My body felt as if it were being squeezed in a large iron clamp, and the clamp tightened more and more." The pressure of grief was too great—if you have ever felt numb from grief, then you know how he felt. "But thank God, we still had another child—a 4-year-old son, who taught us how to find a solution to the problem. One afternoon, I sat there sadly, and he asked me, 'Dad, will you build me a boat?' At that moment, I really didn’t have the mood to build a boat. In fact, I didn’t have the mood to do anything. But my son was a very persistent little fellow, and I had to do as he wished. "It took me about 3 hours to build that toy boat. When the boat was finished, I realized that those 3 hours of building had become the first time in a long time that I had actually relaxed. "This great discovery snapped me out of my daze, and it made me think a lot—this was the first time in months that I had seriously thought about something. I realized that if you are busy doing something that requires planning and thinking, it’s very difficult to find time to worry. For me, all my worries disappeared when I was building the boat, so I decided to keep myself busy. "The next night, I looked at every room and made a list of all the things that needed to be done. There were many small things, such as bookshelves, stairs, curtains, door knobs, door locks, leaky faucets, and so on, that needed repair. To my surprise, I ended up listing 242 things to do in just two weeks. "In the past two years, most of these things have been completed. Additionally, I have added inspiring activities to my life: spending two evenings a week attending adult education classes in New York City and participating in some activities in the small town. Now I am the chairman of the school board, have attended many meetings, and have helped the Red Cross and other organizations raise funds. I am so busy that I barely have time to worry. "Not having time to worry—this is exactly what Churchill once said. During a time of intense war, he worked 18 hours a day. When others asked him if he was worried about such a heavy responsibility, he said, "A person