Raise Successful and Happy Kids: 3 Major Principles for Parents to Learn Together with Their Children

Author: Taylor (USA)
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-01-01
Features: Seeing this title, one might ask the question—aren’t successful children unhappy? The answer is—not all successful children are happy. Why is this the case? In this increasingly competitive era, many parents yearn for their children to excel, driven by a desire for quick results. This mentality, combined with the proliferation of tutoring classes that crowd out children’s personal space, leaves both parents and children in a state of constant exhaustion. Many children never get to enjoy the joys of childhood. Some parents, however, understand the value of respecting their children’s lives and their inner feelings. They believe that a "happy childhood experience" is more important than academic achievements, yet they worry that their children may become unmotivated or lack ambition. The author of this book, Dr. Taylor, successfully resolves this "either/or" conflict in parents’ minds and reveals that success and happiness can go hand in hand. He argues that success without happiness is not true success. To help children be both successful and happy, he encourages parents to raise their children using the "positive push" method, showing them how, when, and how to hold back and advance. He tells us that there is a fundamental difference between simply achieving success and becoming a successful person. The author believes that self-respect, awareness, and emotional control are the three key principles for building a happy life for children. A child’s high level of self-respect is not only determined by receiving proper support, encouragement, and love but also stems from a sense of competence and the feeling of being able to do things well. Children need to develop a sense of awareness—a feeling that their interests, efforts, and achievements are their own. The author points out that in raising children, parents should act as collaborators rather than controllers, in order to cultivate healthy, independent, and happy children. Many parents only want their children to be successful but neglect to respect the value of their lives and nurture their souls; they ignore the deep desires within their children; and they overlook their strong need for independence. Only by providing children with appropriate and reasonable help can they step out of their "comfort zone" to explore and take risks, which will help them achieve success happily. The author of this book uses a red warning format to highlight the mistakes that parents often make without realizing it and that are hindering their children’s success. At the same time, he provides specific, scientific solutions and guidance for these issues. For example, the author emphasizes that parents should not treat their children as confidants, as children are still growing and their minds are not yet fully developed. They lack the emotional capacity to bear the joys and sorrows of adults. He also warns parents not to place their own happiness on their children’s shoulders. Parents should have their own lives and joys and should not become one with their children. As children grow older, parents must constantly reflect on themselves, change, and adjust. They must have the courage to challenge themselves. Love for children should balance expectations for success. Love is the most powerful tool parents have to influence their children. Parents must learn to speak in a language their children can understand and to communicate with them effectively. Regarding the many confusions parents face today—such as children’s school avoidance, lack of motivation to learn, and resistance toward parents—the author believes that parents who set overly high achievement expectations are essentially creating an angry child. These children, who express hostility, learn to associate academic performance with negative emotions. At the same time, he suggests that parents adopt a calm, positive, and supportive attitude toward improvement, and only then will children be encouraged to rise to the challenge.