Youth and I are the same lonely

Author: Zheng Feifan
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-01-01
Features: Regarding novels, I don’t have many ideas. Before writing one, I rarely mull over it; I just vaguely feel a need to express something and then start writing. Since childhood, I’ve preferred giving myself freedom, often daydreaming when I have free time, my mind filled with unfocused thoughts. I’m too lazy to act on them because simply thinking is already enough to bring me joy. I also often pause while reading a book to imagine the characters’ fates in a different direction, which might have been the origin of my later decision to write novels myself. I think many authors may be like me. Life in one’s own time can be truly lonely, but novels allow people to enter others’ time and space. Of course, in reality, we can also step into others’ lives, but it’s ultimately tiring and prone to mistakes. In novels, everything becomes different—those imagined stories don’t haunt us. As soon as they’re written, the author is free. Writing can sometimes be a form of companionship, allowing sensitive and fragile hearts to discover someone walking alongside them on the vast journey, sharing similar joys and sorrows. The Youth and I Are Equally Lonely is such a novel that sometimes evokes similar feelings in me. The author of it is a little girl named Zheng Feifan. I first noticed her thanks to Wang Xiaogun’s recommendation; later, after reading her articles posted on her blog, I began to like her more; eventually, we added links to each other and became friends in the online world. I only recently learned she’s not yet 18 and was quite surprised. Perhaps she’s the youngest friend I know. To be honest, I haven’t read many of the popular youth novels of today, but I roughly know the type of modern girls like Zheng Feifan and her novel’s protagonist. In every city, on all sorts of streets, in schools, bookstores, and shopping malls, they are always the brightest group—because of their youth, because they carry no burdens, because of their good qualities, and because they were born in such an era.
Recalling my peers, they drift through various circumstances, encountering experiences and stories completely different from those of their parents. I can’t yet grasp the differences between them and these late 1980s-born children, but I’m curious about their lives and experiences, especially their literary creations, though I can’t quite explain why. Taking The Youth and I Are Equally Lonely as an example, each character might have existed or appeared in the author’s memory in such a way. They stand out, or their faces bear traces of past wounds, surrounded by many friends still lingering around them. They are always closely connected, and her story is filled with genuine love and bonds, as well as the unresolved problems she discovers yet remains puzzled by. These young people’s issues are the realities we can see everywhere around us, experiences we’ve personally gone through.
As we write, those stories and characters accompany us. When they take shape, perhaps one day they will truly drift away from the pages. I think authors who haven’t yet experienced much of life’s ups and downs may simply wish to express some deep inner thoughts, without any intention of venerating emotions or growth. But I believe they share the same feeling as me—liberation in the heart after finishing writing. However, this cannot hide Zheng Feifan’s words, especially since she’s so young, so small.