Eight Lessons on Understanding Human Nature

Author: Wu Danru
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-12-01
Features: Disliking me means being an enemy? Facing people who dislike us is a major challenge in life, yet also a significant lesson. Li Rong has a son and a daughter. The older brother is determined to join the basketball team, but his performance at the selection meeting isn’t outstanding. Despite being beloved and even given a special exemption by his teachers to join, he continues to face hostility from his teammates, who even take his sneakers and throw away his jersey to tease him. The older brother secretly trains hard, and within a few months, his basketball skills improve significantly. During a match, he plays as a substitute and scores several winning shots, finally earning the respect of his teammates. In his second year of junior high, after gaining recognition, he excitedly tells his mom about his arduous journey and asks her to celebrate with him. However, his sixth-grade sister, who is still in elementary school, coldly says, "Why be so happy? If it were me, I’d never bother joining a team like that. As long as they dislike me, I won’t associate with them. Never!"
As a homemaker, Li Rong says, "Hearing my sister say this, I was taken aback. Her mindset is exactly the same as mine when I was young: If someone dislikes me, I’ll never consider them a friend. It’s the same in the workplace and in family life. Because of this personality, I’ve never had a truly joyful relationship." She feels happy for her son’s positivity but also frustrated by her daughter’s extremism. The sister’s belief that "if you don’t like me, you’re my enemy" is a stubborn part of many women’s personalities. Sometimes, women invest too much energy in interpersonal rivalries, not always fighting real enemies but rather imaginary ones. If they subjectively believe someone is unattractive or dislikes them, they’ll forever see them as an enemy. Women’s personalities often swing between two extremes: one, if they like someone, they’ll willingly compromise to win their favor (seeking approval is different from pleasing someone; the former involves creating a new self-image, while the latter involves sacrificing one’s original self); two, if they discover someone dislikes them, they’ll completely dislike them in return. However, both "liking someone" and "being disliked by them" stem from subjective intuition, which often leads to mistakes. From the perspective of this brother and sister, it largely aligns with the idea that men tend to "conquer enemies," while women tend to "escape from enemies." But if one keeps running away without facing challenges, one day, they may become someone who even dislikes themselves. Facing people who dislike us is a major challenge in life, yet also a significant lesson. Life isn’t a sterile environment—everyone has a "disliked list" in their heart, and everyone may end up on someone else’s. We don’t have to force ourselves to be friends with people we dislike, but we must learn to "not see those who dislike us as enemies."
Fish don’t grow on trees Some people who actively enjoy one-night stands are open in their behavior, but their ideas are actually quite outdated. For those who haven’t used the internet to meet people or find partners, the "pervasive one-night stands online" is just something they’ve heard about.