Best of You Complete Collection - (Classic Collection Edition)

Author: Li Wei
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features: Criticism and blame are useless. On May 7, 1932, a shocking and unprecedented gun battle broke out on the streets of New York. The two-gun outlaw Gary——a teetotaler and a murderer——was finally cornered by the police in the apartment of his girlfriend on Westmoreland Avenue after weeks of evasion. After Gary was captured, the New York City Police Commissioner Monohan publicly stated that Gary was one of the most vicious and stubborn criminals in New York's history, "any minor grievance could trigger his brutal killing spree." But how did the two-gun outlaw Gary view himself? At the height of the battle, he even took the time to write a bloody self-confession, which read: "Though my heart is weary, I have always been kind and compassionate, never having intentionally harmed anyone." When Gary was sentenced to death and sent to the electric chair, he still insisted, "This is too unfair! I killed purely out of self-defense!" From this, it is clear that the two-gun outlaw Gary did not believe he was guilty at all, nor did he show any remorse. If even these notorious criminals still try to cover up their own faults, what about the ordinary people we encounter in our daily lives? The late American industrialist John Warner once said, "Thirty years ago, I already knew that criticizing others was a foolish thing. Just to blame God for not giving me extraordinary wisdom, forcing me to struggle alone and overcome my innate shortcomings, was already enough to keep me busy!" Warner had already grasped this truth at a young age, but personally, it took me a third of a century to understand that no matter how serious the mistake, at least 99 out of 100 people will not reflect on their actions or sincerely admit their faults. Harsh criticism is useless; it only forces the criticized to take defensive actions and deliberately find justifications for their behavior. This kind of criticism is dangerous because it directly harms a person's self-esteem and triggers their rebellious instincts. The German army has a military regulation that explicitly states that when encountering dissatisfaction, one must absolutely not erupt on the spot but must wait until the next night, when one's emotions have cooled, before raising the issue. I believe such a regulation is equally necessary in general society, for only in this way can we calm down those nagging parents, loud wives, picky employers, and complainers, preventing them from creating more trouble for society. People who make mistakes will always blame others and never reflect on their own actions or admit their faults—this is a flaw that everyone has. So, the next time you or I suddenly feel the urge to criticize others, perhaps we should reflect on these real-life examples. We must acknowledge the fact that the person we intend to criticize or curse, whether they are at fault or not, will stubbornly argue, make excuses for their actions, and even lash out with harsh words in return. I spent ten years studying the life of Lincoln, especially his principles for handling interpersonal relationships. When he was young, he was fond of criticizing others, often writing satirical articles about them and distributing them to the public, causing great hatred from those involved. Once, he went too far