Social Skills and Self-Confidence Training

Author: Dai Wanglei
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features:
8. People with (unhappiness) like to elevate themselves
When we encounter setbacks or failures, we always find reasons to explain ourselves to maintain inner balance. The reasons people find vary: some criticize their superiors' incompetence to boost themselves, while others boast about their past to prove their worth. If you think these people are truly impressive, you'd be wrong. In reality, they are simply dissatisfied with reality but unwilling to admit their failure, so they resort to these excuses. We often hear examples like this: some people see others get promoted and say, "What special skills does he have? He's just lucky to have his sister-in-law on his side"; some older, more experienced individuals who feel they won't be promoted anymore will exaggerate their past achievements. If you interact with such people in daily life, show them enough sympathy rather than exposing their flaws. One of my teachers, who now works in organizational and personnel affairs, says, "There are always some people who elevate themselves to find a good position. I always understand them because they have unhappiness." When I asked him why he doesn’t contradict them, he replied, "Why argue with them at this moment? They are already upset and need to vent." If the person you're interacting with is elevating themselves, adopt a sympathetic attitude.
9. Passionate and confident people shake hands firmly
Shaking hands is a very common gesture in modern society, mostly an unconscious behavior. However, if a person adds conscious actions to this unconscious behavior, the situation changes completely. If we pay a little attention, we can observe this phenomenon in daily life: when we shake hands with someone more capable or whom we respect, we often use both hands, while the other person might only use one. This shows that a handshake can reflect a person's mindset. When China and the U.S. established diplomatic relations, I saw a report on a scene of Mao Zedong shaking hands with Nixon: Mao gripped the other person's hand tightly and shook it vigorously, and in that moment, the other person showed a look of confusion. The report believed that regardless of what was said, Mao had taken the initiative. A business friend of mine, who is involved in trade and often engages in negotiations, discovered a secret: when a negotiation reaches a stalemate, shaking hands with the other party forcefully demonstrates confidence and a refusal to back down, which puts significant psychological pressure on them. Haven’t we all had similar experiences? When your friend is feeling down, if you comfort them, you’ll shake their hand firmly to show your "strong support."
10. Using small gestures to conceal one's anxiety
In social interactions, unexpected events often cause tension or anxiety. This tension or anxiety can be seen in some small gestures. We’ve witnessed scenes like this: when police interrogate suspects, if the suspect can’t explain certain questions convincingly, they may make random movements, revealing their guilt. Similarly, when we find it difficult to