Sunshine Girl: A Parent's Guide to Girl Education

Author: (German) Sylvia Schneider / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-01-01
Features: It can be said that you won’t educate your daughter like you would a typical girl, or perhaps you don’t want to—because she should be a sunny girl, a strong young woman, not a woman who passively adapts or submits. Over the years, the vast majority of mothers have been keenly and vigilantly attentive to their daughters, and they should also develop and experience the traits of boys. If they could also lose themselves in carefree, boyish mischief, their parents would be as proud as "goats." However, here is an honest question posed to both male and female readers: "Have you ever heard of a time when a father was just as delighted as his son when the latter was dressing a Barbie doll in pink floral dresses?" It is often said that all theories are gray. The reality, however, is quite different, often differing from our perceptions. The traditional distinctions between girls and boys have long existed, regardless of people’s good intentions, and they have repeatedly proven to be more concealed than ever before, making them harder to discern. Girls: cute, well-behaved, compliant; boys = active, proactive, robust. This ancient role assignment has not faded away entirely, even though our own responses suggest otherwise. This indicates that the old and new role assignments are completely incompatible. The education of girls today remains the same, still prioritizing tradition. You may be surprised to learn that even progressive parents are guilty of this. It is not a conscious "choice" but something that happens without you even realizing it, even though almost all parents today believe that their daughters are receiving proper education and will pursue careers, earning their own living. In our cultural circle, parents who treat their daughters differently from their sons, who do not impose the same demands of independence on them, are perhaps as rare as finding a needle in a haystack (though this may be different in other cultural circles). Yet, as if there were a secret plan, the assistants carrying out this plan secretly instill into our daughters the moral code of the typical girl role in the darkness and fog. These assistants are none other than ourselves, all of us. No one can escape it, regardless of their education, wealth, or political beliefs. This is not a matter of assigning blame but an undeniable fact. Because we are all part of the whole, participating with our personal genetics, collective memories, and acquired knowledge. From the cradle, we continuously send out tiny, sometimes even minuscule, secret messages to new life. Let’s take an example: initially, boys and girls are given the same toys, but over time, the direction diverges more and more. Girls receive more "soft" toys, while boys receive "hard" toys. Toys for boys often cost more, and they offer more creative play opportunities compared to girls’ toys. Girls’ toys are generally "cute" and softer. The toys girls receive often do not encourage their freedom of expression, while boys receive toy vehicles, and girls receive makeup kits, hair care products, and, of course, Barbie dolls. "Since the beginning of our daughter’s upbringing, we have tried to shield her from suppression, and she has never actively accepted the same fate as her brother. Yet, for some reason, the outcome is not what we hoped for. Now, our daughter is spoiled, extremely picky, prone to tantrums, and somewhat dependent. In contrast, her brother lacks confidence in his role, is easily sick, and cannot even protect himself in front of his sister—now he worries us more." (Vera, 38; Walter, 43, parents of a 16-year-old girl, Annette, and a 19-year-old boy, Steven)
Moreover, no matter how hard parents try to do things their way, the gifts from grandparents and aunts, especially children’s toys, have the complete opposite effect. Then there are the children’s strong desires, which parents find hard to resist. Everywhere are cheerful advertisements, and storefronts display trendy children’s toys. The slogans in children’s toy ads stir children’s hearts, and according to their own words, "all the other kids" either have this toy or that, but not him! It becomes impossible to control. For parents’ educational plans, this is undoubtedly a terrible moment. To avoid arguments and anger, as we believe, the vast majority of parents choose to give in, saving themselves some trouble. P1-3