Iron teeth and copper teeth

Author: Mi Jinlong / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-03-01
Features: Why is it hard to determine bloodline?
Chester Longing, a former Canadian diplomat, was born in Xiangyang City, Hubei Province, China, in 1893. His parents were American missionaries, and Longing was raised on milk from a Chinese wet nurse. Because of this, he faced attacks from his opponents during his 30-year-old mayoral election campaign. The opponents claimed that since Longing had been raised on Chinese milk, he must have Chinese bloodline and was therefore ineligible to run for office.
Longing retorted, "Have any of you ever drunk Canadian milk? If so, doesn’t that mean you have Canadian cow bloodline in you? Of course, you may have drunk both Canadian human milk and some cow milk, making you a ‘mixed-blood’ of human and cow! Maybe when you grew up, not only did you ‘drink,’ but you also had to ‘eat’—chicken breasts, steak, lamb chops. In that case, how could your bloodline possibly be determined? If your bloodline is hard to determine, then what right do you have to run for election?" His opponents were speechless and looked at each other in confusion.
How to Get the Green Dragon Crescent Blade
Once, while a play titled Battle of Changsha was being performed on stage, the actor playing Guan Yu suddenly realized something was off. The audience was whispering, as if discussing something. Glancing around, he quickly understood: he was holding Zhang Fei’s spear instead of his own sword. Acting quickly, he improvised a new line. With a cry of "Challenge!" (meaning "Let’s sing"), the huqin player quickly began playing.
The "Guan Yu" then sang:
"Battle of Changsha, a battle, lost my great sword.
Therefore, I borrow Zhang Biao’s eight-foot spear.
Call the boys, quickly search for—"
The extras were quick on their feet too, quickly fetching Guan Yu’s sword from backstage and handing it to the "Guan Yu."
The "Guan Yu" took the sword and continued singing:
"Now this is, Guan Yu’s Green Dragon Crescent Blade!"
After finishing, he made a heroic pose, and the audience erupted in applause.
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