Mayfly Architecture - A Spatial Aesthetics Game of the First Generation Architectural Genius

Author: Deng Kunyan
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: Perhaps due to personal disposition, I am reluctant to be attached to this external illusion. Additionally, my mentor repeatedly warned me not to rush to publish these worthless works when I was still young. Therefore, I have always politely declined invitations from publishing houses on both sides of the strait and refused to release what are termed personal collections or biographies. However, as days pass, the materials gradually fade away for unknown reasons, and I worry about my memory declining with age. Coupled with the persistent persuasion of my friend Ren Ding, who is involved in publishing in Shanghai, I reluctantly agreed to treat this as a phase of personal documentation and to seek approval from East China Normal University for publication. This decision even led to a scolding from my mentor, who said I should focus on my main responsibilities instead of getting involved in this. It’s indeed unjust. If I don’t agree, what can the publishers do to me? If I don’t insist, what then?
As for those who often ask me for materials, I sincerely apologize. From now on, they will have to buy these books themselves. To be honest, apart from handing over the materials and participating in interviews, I have not been actively involved in the process. By the time the preliminary design drafts reached me, it was already three days before they were sent to the printing factory. Even though I am known for being overly critical, I have lost the right and opportunity to interfere in my own publication. Yet, I was forced to write this preface in just one day. This is precisely why I have been reluctant to publish these scattered personal growth materials, which my mentor, Mr. Han Bao De, believes are not my best achievements, to avoid regretting it in the future. Now, I am already regretting it.
Psychologically, however, I am deeply grateful to Ren Ding for his concern and effort. This is indeed no easy task. I am considered a multi-faceted individual who participates in everything, which is why I have accumulated so much material over half my life. Perhaps I believed that by the end of my life, I would have achieved something significant, so I made every effort to preserve these materials. I owe a great debt to Ren Ding and his team, including Fei and Hao Tan, as well as the young friends I haven’t met yet. Thank you!
Of course, I must also admire and appreciate the courage of East China Normal University Press for accepting this. If one truly reads through the texts in these materials, they will realize that all the results presented are the outcomes of work invited or commissioned by external circumstances. Professional design work, writing—everything in these collections was done by outsiders. I was merely an involuntary participant in a symbiotic relationship. I know where I stand, but the outsiders who came about through circumstances still claim it originated from me, and readers are misled by these illusory appearances. I never had the chance to clarify this, perhaps because life is just like this. Otherwise, how would there be the saying that a true friend is hard to find in life?
I have always been fortunate, and I believe there will come a day when, apart from my mentor, there will be Chinese people who understand me—just like the foreigners who praise me so much that I feel ashamed. Then, there might be a chance for me to present my architectural philosophy to my mentor. In my personal standards, my architectural vision has long been realized, but others simply cannot understand it. Otherwise, how would I have accumulated so many external reputations? So, I no longer even care about this aspect. Let you say what you will; laughter and criticism are all the same to me. After all, I remain who I am—thinking, speaking, doing—therefore, I exist, as if in a place where no one is watching.
After publishing these personal collections, what I truly want to clarify is that outsiders all think what I do is all about noise and dazzling appearances, as if I am someone who chooses the path of least resistance. In reality, I consider myself a quiet person like still water, but others simply cannot see it. Must I shave my head and eat vegetarian food?! After leaving the fame and fortune of Taipei and moving to Shanghai, it has already been sixteen years. I have worked tirelessly, yet I have been repeatedly rejected by the Chinese. I also feel as though I have achieved nothing. Now, my hair is thinning, my teeth are shaky, and my body is aging. I sigh in despair, even shedding tears in my dreams at midnight when I wake up. How ashamed I am! How ashamed!