Don't touch my loved ones - Relationship counseling expert Shu Chang guides you out of the emotional whirlpool

Author: Shu Chang / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publishing Date: 2006-07-01
Features: Love requires respect, and respect can be mutually infectious. Men respect women's tenderness, beauty, and gentleness, while women respect men's strength, courage, and the wealth they create. Under the premise of respect, both men and women experience the energy of love. Perhaps baseless suspicion has brought your family to the brink of collapse, or perhaps your innate personality has made your emotions turbulent, or perhaps painful memories have caused your marriage to crumble. These emotional knots that leave one in turmoil occupy life, disrupt work, and cause one to be unintentionally caught in the of emotions. Through vivid examples and lively characters, experts use their rich social experience and professional psychological analysis methods to delve deeply into the unknown inner world, interpret helpless emotional doubts, and expose blind romantic and marital misconceptions, thereby establishing a correct perspective on romantic and marital emotions. In the Garden of Eden of love, it is rare for anyone not to experience the bitterness intertwined with the sweetness. The magic of love lies in the yin-yang interaction between the two genders and the dreams it creates. While forgetting reality and not knowing where one is, one experiences the roller-coaster-like ups and downs and the ecstatic joy of losing oneself. Grasping and controlling love is very difficult. But both men and women share a common desire: in our river of love, this man and this woman are exclusively mine. Unfortunately, the dreams of the two cannot awaken at the same time. Thus, a kaleidoscope of emotions—love and hatred intertwined—arises between men and women. Eventually, even the parties themselves become unclear whether they are loving or hating. The purpose of this book is to help readers understand that the love of ordinary people is related to their inner expectations and desires. Love that comes without understanding the situation is difficult to sustain in the long run. We are all not saints; from childhood to adulthood, we do not know at which stage we may lose something or have something unmet, and all this is hidden in our subconscious. As a result, in later years, we unconsciously seek and desire. Often, this craving appears in intimate relationships between the two genders, because the loss usually occurs in the close relationship with parents during childhood, and what is lost is sought again there. That is why adult intimate relationships between the two genders become so colorful! Love requires respect, and respect can be mutually infectious. Men respect women's tenderness, beauty, and gentleness, while women respect men's strength, courage, and the wealth they create. Under the premise of respect, both men and women experience the energy of love. Perhaps baseless suspicion has brought your family to the brink of collapse, or perhaps your innate personality has made your emotions turbulent, or perhaps painful memories have caused your marriage to crumble. These emotional knots that leave one in turmoil occupy life, disrupt work, and cause one to be unintentionally caught in the of emotions. Through vivid examples and lively characters, experts use their rich social experience and professional psychological analysis methods to delve deeply into the unknown inner world, interpret helpless emotional doubts, and expose blind romantic and marital misconceptions, thereby establishing a correct perspective on romantic and marital emotions. In the Garden of Eden of love, it is rare for anyone not to experience the bitterness intertwined with the sweetness. The magic of love lies in the yin-yang interaction between the two genders and the dreams it creates. While forgetting reality and not knowing where one is, one experiences the roller-coaster-like ups and downs and the ecstatic joy of losing oneself. Grasping and controlling love is very difficult. But both men and women share a common desire: in our river of love, this man and this woman are exclusively mine. Unfortunately, the dreams of the two cannot awaken at the same time. Thus, a kaleidoscope of emotions—love and hatred intertwined—arises between men and women. Eventually, even the parties themselves become unclear whether they are loving or hating. The purpose of this book is to help readers understand that the love of ordinary people is related to their inner expectations and desires. Love that comes without understanding the situation is difficult to sustain in the long run. We are all not saints; from childhood to adulthood, we do not know at which stage we may lose something or have something unmet, and all this is hidden in our subconscious. As a result, in later years, we unconsciously seek and desire. Often, this craving appears in intimate relationships between the two genders, because the loss usually occurs in the close relationship with parents during childhood, and what is lost is sought again there. That is why adult intimate relationships between the two genders become so colorful!
Should I marry a rich husband?
Dear Teacher Shu Chang,
Hello! I am a very kind girl with no excessive scheming. I am particularly honest and would never use flattery. I also have an average appearance. As a result, my love life is quite ordinary. But recently, I encountered something that really bothers me. I have been dating him for three years, and during these three years, due to his parents' opposition, we never discussed getting married. This year, his parents suddenly agreed. Perhaps it's because we are both getting older. However, I have never met his parents, so the wedding arrangements can only be handled by us. The family doesn't get involved in anything. In recent years, although we have been living together, we haven't saved a single cent. Seeing that we are getting older, we want to get married but can't, while watching friends one by one enter the of marriage and I can only envy them from the sidelines, with no parental support and feeling completely alone. At this moment, I think, money is truly a struggle! What's even more frightening is how we will manage in the future. I am in pain, hesitating, and undecided—should I marry him or break up with him? The society itself is very cruel. Without a solid foundation, nothing works. Adding to this, his parents' opposition has put our love in a difficult situation. What should I do?
A Rong
Shu Chang's Reply to A Rong:
Hello! First, I want to remind you that most of the punctuation in your letter was added by me. I don't know if you were careless or if you didn't understand the principle of seeing the small in the large. If you don't even care about expressing your urgent feelings so casually, what else can you expect? Regarding the amount of money you need depends on how much desire you have. This, of course, comes from your understanding of yourself. If you have many desires for the future that require money to fulfill, then money will account for 70% or more of your love. If you are somewhat restrained and understand the principle of spending more when you have more and less when you have less, then money will account for about 40% of your love. If your nature doesn't like being led by external desires, then flashy items won't move you much, and money will only account for about 20% of your love. If you can understand thrift and charity, using extra money and possessions to help the poor and support public causes, then money will naturally play a very small role in your love. See which value system governs your spending habits? Subjectively speaking, for women, money doesn't play a big role in love. Women seek security and the feeling of being loved in love. When a man uses the little money he has in his pocket time and time again to buy things you desire, it's hard for a woman not to be moved. At this moment, you often think, "Even under such difficult circumstances, he treats me this way—what more could I ask for in life?" Of course, there are also those who take advantage of women's soft hearts. That depends on your ability to see through things. If you can keep one eye closed while being moved and keep the other slightly open, those who deceive will have a hard time passing this test! Excessive material desire often represents insufficient inner security and more fear. When you truly understand this, you will never again focus on one pair of shoes after another. Instead, you should turn back and face yourself—what are you afraid of? What are you avoiding? A Rong, are you listening to me? Reflect on this carefully. I hope all readers of this article can feel a slight tremor in their hearts—please, get closer to your heart and tell yourself not to avoid anything!
Shu Chang's Advice from Netizens: Don't overthink it—contentment brings joy. You say you have an average appearance and no education, and if you're not careful, you'll regret it later. You don't have the foundation for it. Treasure the boyfriend you have now. I understand A Rong's feelings. In fact, many girls have the same thoughts. Simply put, it's their vanity at play. When faced with love and money, no girl can loudly and honestly say, "I only want true love" or "I only want money." Who doesn't want both? Everyone has the desire and right to choose happiness. I don't think there's right or wrong here—it's the psychological burden society imposes on us. My advice is that when weighing the two, what's most important is choosing a way that makes you happy, because your mood affects everyone around you and even your entire long life. So, this is a very important choice! Calling you sister may not be appropriate, but first, I want to tell you: neither of you should have no savings. Both of you should plan for your future. Whether to marry him or not depends on whether he is a person with ambition and whether he is someone you can entrust your whole life to. Happiness has many interpretations—what kind can you endure? Everyone longs for a life of wealth, but it requires you to put in a lot of effort. If your husband is rich, it means he will have to attend many social events and spend less time with you. Going through this will take a long time, but it will get better over time. I still hope you can work together. Wishing you happiness!
P8-10