Childlike Heart Forever - Yilin

Author: Xiaoping
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features: Love on the Left, Dignity on the Right
Su Xiaochan
On a weekend afternoon, the little kid Zai Zai kept pestering me to go shopping with him to buy Ultraman DVDs. After leaving the mall, at the corner of the street, I saw that same little beggar again. Dressed in ragged clothes, his face smudged with dirt, he was no different from the other beggars wandering the streets. He was about ten years old, dragging a disabled leg, staring blankly at the people passing by. With a sweet voice, he would say things like "Wishing you prosperity and good luck." I had tossed coins into his broken ceramic bowl more than once. But when I passed by him again, he still held out his bowl with a humble yet entitled attitude, gesturing for me to throw money into it.
Humanity is so shallow—even beggars are so opportunistic. To be honest, I’ve seen many types of beggars in front of restaurants on the streets. Especially those little beggars who hold up signs or red papers, claiming their unfortunate backgrounds and excellent academic performance, asking for help. Although I don’t fully believe them, because their begging styles are so uniform, making me suspicious. Still, I’d toss them some spare change. First, I believe that such young children have endured the hardships of life too early, even if it’s a scam, there must be an untold tragic story behind it. Moreover, a few yuan doesn’t mean much to me. From another perspective, I needed to give alms to maintain a sense of noble self-respect, or to prove that my heart was still kind and soft. I was willing to believe this.
This time, I didn’t take out any money from my pocket because giving alms hadn’t brought me the expected joy. This little beggar was indeed somewhat—ungrateful. I didn’t expect him to be grateful, but at least, he could show some gratitude, even if it was just to remember me. What made me even angrier was that when he saw I wasn’t going to give him money, he quickly fixed his gaze on the next more likely target, his face full of humility or sycophancy. In that moment, I realized I despised him intensely, just like how I despised those who took advantage of me after I considered them friends and then discarded me. I even wished I could take back the money I had given him if he could.
Then I heard Zai Zai calling him, "Xiao Sanzi, how much did you earn today?" The beggar, called Xiao Sanzi, straightened up and his dark face lit up with excitement. "It’s Zai Zai! Did you skip school today?" Zai Zai approached his ceramic bowl with great interest: "You didn’t earn much today, did you? Oh, you even got twenty yuan!" Xiao Sanzi proudly pinched the twenty yuan bill: "This is half a bowl’s worth!" Then, his expression turned carefree: "Anyway, that person has plenty of money. The dog he walks is better fed than I am."
I listened with a racing heart. What troubled me even more was that I had given Xiao Sanzi money many times, yet he didn’t remember me—or perhaps he just took it for granted. On the other hand, Zai Zai, who hadn’t given him a single cent, remembered him. Zai Zai told me that Xiao Sanzi said the adults who gave him money would cover their noses and leave immediately after dropping the coins. He knew they disliked him because he was dirty and smelly. "But I don’t mind him, he treats me like his friend," Zai Zai added.
So, even a beggar, let alone a child, has dignity. Respecting him was far more important than giving him money, even though he relied on it to survive. Although I had given him alms many times, I had never seen him as anything more than a. My pity was cheap, almost non-existent, because it was covered with a thick layer of disdain, even contempt. Giving alms might have merely elevated my sense of self-importance and kindness. To Xiao Sanzi, I was no different from hundreds, thousands, or even millions of other people—just a random, indifferent, and feigned act of kindness as I tossed a few coins into his broken bowl. So, he didn’t need to—and couldn’t—remember me.
But Zai Zai was different. With him, Xiao Sanzi felt a sense of respect he had never experienced before. He was Zai Zai’s friend. I couldn’t forget the impact this small encounter had on my heart. It taught me that if you want someone to remember you, accept you, respect you, or even love you, you must first give them dignity. Dignity isn’t food, but it’s truly important for those who are alive—even for a beggar or just a child.
Yilin Zhi Ji
Reading the title of the article, the first thing that came to my mind was the words Bing Xin gave to Ge Luo: "Love is on the left, and emotion is on the right. Along the path of life, plant seeds and bloom flowers anytime, filling this long journey with fragrance. Those who pass through, treading on thorns, won’t feel pain, and with tears to shed, won’t feel sorrow." The author replaced "emotion" with "dignity," making it a bit less romantic but more solemn.
Love is on the left, dignity is on the right. Love is on the left—it is the reason for existence and happiness found in helping others. Dignity is on the right—it is understanding, respect, and true empathy. Love is on the left, dignity is on the right. Along the path of life, plant seeds and bloom flowers anytime.
(Biman) P7-9