Ability is enough, face is thick - Wang Zhenhui's portfolio

Author: Wang Zhenhui
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-05-01
Features: For good intentions one cannot accept, when there is no room to avoid, perhaps, rejecting is better than evading, and evading is better than lying. Isn’t it the best way to handle it? The hardest thing to refuse in life is undoubtedly others' kindness and goodwill, especially when there is no room to back out. To accept something you don’t like, or to refuse it, fearing to offend people, often leaves one in a dilemma, unable to advance or retreat, like holding a hot potato. For others' non-aggressive goodwill, to evade or even directly refuse generally does no harm to either party, like a boat passing without a trace, avoiding awkwardness in handling. However, for some aggressive goodwill, whether with unclear motives or specific purposes, the choice between accepting or rejecting is indeed a profound art. Such goodwill that one would avoid at all costs is everywhere, and when encountered, what should one do? The following is a great example.
The sixth emperor of the Ming Dynasty, Emperor Yingzong, listened to the bad advice of eunuch Wang Zhen and personally led the army to fight the invading Mongol Wala tribe. However, Wang Zhen was only a mediocre strategist, and as a result, the army was defeated at the Battle of Mutubu, with Emperor Yingzong captured and Wang Zhen killed. This is known as the "Mutu Incident." The dignified Ming emperor becoming a captive of a frontier tribe naturally made him unhappy. But one day, the Wala leader, Yesen, brought his own sister to Emperor Yingzong’s presence, saying he wanted to marry her. Faced with this sudden "surprise," even if Emperor Yingzong were foolish, he knew this was a big deal and couldn’t be taken lightly, so he became even more troubled. After Yesen left, Emperor Yingzong asked Wu Guantong, one of his attendants who had been captured, what to do. Wu Guantong said, "It is truly undignified for the great Ming emperor to become a barbarian’s bridegroom, and it would be even more embarrassing if recorded in history! But if you refuse, defying Yesen’s wishes might bring unforeseen misfortune! It’s better to lie to him and delay for now."
So, Wu Guantong suggested that Emperor Yingzong tell Yesen, "It is a good thing to marry your sister, and it will greatly benefit the friendly relations between our two countries. I have no reason to refuse, but I don’t want to act hastily. I hope to wait until I return to my country before holding a grand ceremony to welcome her." Yesen was half-suspicious but too embarrassed to force the issue. However, later, he selected several beautiful women to accompany Emperor Yingzong, wanting to test his reaction. At this point, Emperor Yingzong, following Wu Guantong’s advice, told Yesen, "I am deeply moved by your kindness, but please send them back first. They can serve as companions for your sister’s dowry in the future, and I will definitely enshrine them as concubines." Yesen had no choice but to tentatively believe Emperor Yingzong’s promise. And Wu Guantong’s advice also helped Emperor Yingzong out of his dilemma, preserving his dignity from being "seduced."
Lying, evading, or refusing are all things done out of necessity, as they usually cause psychological fluctuations and unease. Just like walking—walking straight is the most comfortable, but bending or walking backward, unless for fun, no one would voluntarily suffer. But in life, if everyone walks straight, they are bound to collide. Sometimes it’s better to bend a little or step back a few steps, perhaps making things smoother.
In this story, for good intentions one cannot accept, when there is no room to avoid, perhaps, rejecting is better than evading, and evading is better than lying, which is the best way to handle it. Isn’t it?