Wise Life Classics - [Treasure Edition]

Author: Hou Shusheng / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-08-01
Features: Deceitful cunning is inferior to simple sincerity; only sincerity can win hearts.
As the Han Feizi says, "Deceitful cunning is inferior to simple sincerity." "Deceitful cunning" refers to the practice of masking one's true intentions with a facade of cleverness. At first glance, it may seem like a smart strategy, but over time, the likelihood of others suspecting or even distancing themselves from you increases. On the other hand, "simple sincerity" means acting with genuine honesty, which may appear somewhat naive, but it wins the hearts of most people. Han Feizi believed that it is better to treat others with sincerity rather than to deceive them with clever methods. Indeed, a sincere person may not immediately capture people's hearts, but over time, their sincerity gradually penetrates into people's minds, earning their trust and ultimately leading to success in life. As the saying goes, "Distance tests a horse's strength, time reveals a person's heart," and sincerity is one of the important principles of being a person.
When navigating life, we need to make friends, and friendship requires sincerity. It is easy to meet someone, but in a year with 365 days, how many people pass us by? However, starting from that brief encounter, to continue the relationship, and to be able to open up and discuss matters deeply, whether through letters or face-to-face visits, is rare indeed. "A thousand pieces of gold are easy to obtain, but a true friend is hard to find." "In a lifetime, to have one true friend is enough; in this world, one should treat them as equals." After befriending Qu Qiubai, Lu Xun once inscribed this couplet for him. Indeed, a friend can become an inseparable companion. After becoming true friends, they care for you, cherish you, comfort you in your difficulties, celebrate your successes, remind you when you lose your way, and encourage you when you feel discouraged. You can get drunk together over wine, climb mountains together carelessly—such a friendship is truly invaluable. It can be said that no one would refuse to spend their entire life with such a friend.
A good friend can embellish your life, allowing you to experience the richness of emotions, the vibrancy of life, and the value of existence. To find a friend, to find a true friend, in the vast sea of humanity, apart from the inexplicable fate that connects us, it is most important to rely on your own cultivation and effort, just as you must plant a tree first to harvest fruit. Friends do not come to you out of nowhere, nor do they become true friends without reason. To gain friends, you must first become someone who is more worthy of appreciation. This appreciation naturally includes appearance and demeanor, but more importantly, it reflects the qualities and virtues a person demonstrates, such as honesty, trustworthiness, and a broad-minded heart. After making friends, it is also crucial to always interact with them in an open and sincere manner.
If a friend greatly admires you, cares for and cherishes you in every situation, and you merely enjoy their friendship comfortably and warmly without understanding that you should also reciprocate with the same sincerity, then this friendship, which could have flourished, might wither and die midway. Only by putting in sincere effort can you earn a lifelong, unwavering friendship. As the ancients wisely said, "A hundred hearts cannot win one person, but one heart can win a hundred people."
P20-21