6 Psychological Lessons for Teenagers

Author: Zhu Yuelong
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features: His story. He is a high school sophomore. Recently, his temperament has changed greatly. He is impulsive, easily angered, and has poor concentration. Sometimes he is drowsy in class, restless, and his academic performance has declined significantly. The teacher has talked to him many times, gradually gaining his trust, and he opened up his heart to the teacher. his academic performance had always been excellent until the second half of his freshman year. The class he was in was split due to disciplinary reasons. Coming from a low-performing class, he was looked down upon, and he felt oppressed in the new class, unable to hold his head up. Around that time, he met a cheerful girl and felt attracted to her. He boldly proposed to be friends with her, and she agreed. However, in his sophomore year, she suddenly broke up with him and returned to her original boyfriend. He was heartbroken and felt as if the world was ending. He was unwilling and didn't understand where he had lost. His midterm exam results were terrible, making him feel guilty towards his parents. He wanted to study hard, but he couldn't focus. Now he often has nightmares at night and can't sleep for long periods, feeling like he's about to go crazy but not knowing what to do.
A psychologist tells you that breakups refer to the forced termination of a romantic relationship. Breakups can be categorized into four different types based on the circumstances:
- Natural Breakup: This occurs when natural factors prevent the romantic relationship from continuing, such as the death of one partner.
- Infidelity Breakup: This happens when one partner is loved by a third person or falls for someone new and abandons the current relationship.
- Obstacle Breakup: This occurs when social pressure, family, or other external factors hinder the relationship, forcing one or both partners to end it.
- Incompatibility Breakup: This happens when the partners have significant differences in thoughts, personalities, or lifestyles, making it impossible for them to continue the relationship.
Regardless of the reason for the breakup, it causes significant and lasting physical and psychological harm to the person who experiences it, especially the one who is abandoned.
Specifically, (breakup victims) often exhibit the following negative mindsets:
First, they feel deeply ashamed, (depressed and confused), losing hope and becoming timid and isolated, even to the point of despair and suicide, becoming a martyr to love. Second, they may remain deeply in love with the person who abandoned them, filled with beautiful memories and fantasies about their romantic life, denying the breakup and falling into a state of one-sided love. Some may also experience a special emotional conflict—loving and hating simultaneously, unable to escape.
Breakup victims may become desperate and furious, losing their senses and developing a desire for revenge, leading to destructive outcomes; or they may become cynical and distrustful of everything, seeing nothing as satisfactory and complaining constantly; or they may adopt a hedonistic attitude, living for the moment, seeking thrills to vent their frustrations.
Generally, the greater a person's expectations for romantic success and the more emotionally invested they are in a relationship, the more severe the psychological harm they suffer after a breakup, and the stronger their emotional reaction. Although normal heterosexual interaction is beneficial,