Good Kids Are Like This: Suitable for Parents of Children Aged (6-12)

Author: Yu Fan / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
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There is a girl who considers entering university as her only path. When she just started primary school, her mother would say every day, "Study hard, you must get into the top ten, otherwise you have no future." The girl worked hard and indeed made it into the top ten. Then her mother said, "You must compete for the th place, that's the only way out." The girl really took the th place exam. Her mother then said, "That's not the goal. You must get into a key high school, so you can go to a good university later." The girl grew up struggling under her mother's endless demands. In her diary, she wrote, "Mom keeps raising the bar endlessly, making it impossible for me to breathe. Whenever I achieve her expectations, she's happy, and I become a star in the sky; but when I fail to meet her demands, I'm a complete idiot, and endless scolding and ridicule pour down on me. In my heart, there's only . I desperately chase after one goal after another, and it's just too exhausting."
Parents view further education in university as their child's only path, and the child will also accept their parents' beliefs, studying solely for the sake of university. The pressure parents impose on them is unbearable. If they fail to get into university, they cannot accept it psychologically. How many cases of suicide or running away after failing the junior high or senior high exams have there been? During a child's growth, parents should guide them properly, nurturing their diverse interests and abilities, rather than placing all their hopes on a "must" and "only" gamble. Tell them, "If you don't make the list, there are still paths ahead." There are a thousand trades, and excellence can be found in every one.
All a child's energy should be focused on studying.
The Zhejiang Xu Li matricide case shocked the nation. Xu Li said in an interview with reporters, "I love playing basketball, but my mother wouldn't let me. She only wanted me to study. She often came to school to monitor whether I was studying or playing, and according to her demands, I had to spend all my time studying. I wasn't even allowed to play outside on weekends. Every day was just studying."
When parents force their children to focus all their energy on studying, constantly caring about and talking about nothing but learning, Xu Li felt "tired of it, too monotonous, studying is boring, and life has no meaning." As a result, his heart went off track, and ultimately, it led to the tragic matricide.