The Way of Speaking Between the Wise and the Foolish - [The Art of Speaking to Avoid Being Called a Fool Anymore]

Author: Wang Yu
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: Those with little status can speak with persuasive power, and this is closely related to. When the time is right, the words naturally fit, capturing people's attention. Don't think that only words spoken when the other party is happy carry weight. Seizing the moment when the other party is reluctant to speak and speaking candidly can create a unique charm of speaking with influence despite one's modest status. The ability to fully express one's complete intentions with a few well-chosen words at the right time is an indispensable element of appropriate speaking opportunities.
Modern dance pioneer Yu Rongling, a prominent figure in China, moved to Paris with her diplomat parents in her youth. Due to the constraints of old customs, she had always hesitated to express her desire to learn dance. Once, the wife of the Japanese ambassador visited, and she casually asked Yu's mother, "Why doesn't your daughter learn to dance? All Japanese girls do." Unable to refuse, Yu's mother replied, "She can learn later!" Seizing the opportunity, Yu Rongling said, "Good mother, I will learn Japanese dance for you!" She then changed into a dance costume and performed the "Crane and Turtle Dance." The ambassador's wife praised her immensely, and her mother had no choice but to agree. Here, Yu Rongling's success in speaking up lay entirely in her ability to seize the right moment.
Many people share a common flaw: they exhaust all their topics in one opportunity, leaving them with nothing to say when they need to speak again. This phenomenon, whether in casual conversation or formal speeches, should be a matter of great attention. Confucius specifically emphasized avoiding the impatience of "speaking before the time is right." From the speaker's perspective alone, it's hard to explain this impatience. If you shift your focus outward and ask, "What can the listener accept?" the problem becomes much simpler.
Before the 2004 Asian Cup, a Chinese team member inappropriately boasted, "If we don't win the championship, why bother?" In reality, not winning a championship doesn't mean one isn't a person. Even if they don't win, knowing what propriety and timing mean still makes them human. It's only when they make grand claims without confidence, leaving no room for retreat, that they cease to be human.
A person with superior speaking skills can quickly identify topics that interest the audience while speaking appropriately and at the right moment. In other words, they can deliver what the audience wants to hear, when they want to hear it, in the right way—a talent unmatched by others. Those who can seize excellent opportunities can turn crises into stability and dangers into safety, even in the face of sudden changes or obstacles.
If you work in manufacturing, when training new employees, you must also understand the best time to conduct pre-job education. If your company is at a disadvantage in competition, and you keep discussing the unwise decision to participate, that is utterly foolish. If you are a salesperson, how do you make the other party recognize the advantages and features you present, and what should you say at the right moment to seal the deal during the next negotiation? If you work in advertising, you must know the best time to promote which products or services.
Even more so, if someone is grieving at a funeral, you cannot demand that they do this or that with a commanding tone. Whether on a sports field, in a marketplace, or in any other endeavor, appropriately seizing the right moment is an indispensable element on the path to success. Yet most people fail to understand or fully grasp opportunities, leading to lifelong regrets.
To say it another way, mastering timing seems like a natural intuition, but like experience, it must be honed.