Lu Yin's Prose Collection

Author: Lu Yin / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: The spring light outside the window had not seen the shadow of the sun for several days, and a sense of oppression surrounded her heart. This morning, upon waking, she opened her eyes to find a dazzling ray of sunlight casting its glow on her red walls. She quickly put on her clothes and walked to the window, drawing back the plain curtain sprinkled with floral patterns. The white orchids she had planted a few days ago had already bloomed, their pale green petals dotted with a bright red heart, exuding a truly unique charm—what is often described as "ice-cold flowers in a vibrant garden, with a red heart even more radiant." At the same time, a refreshing fragrance filled the air, awakening her senses. The dullness around her was instantly replaced with a surge of vitality, as if the wings of the spirit of spring had stirred the souls of the world.
She couldn’t tell whether it was joy or melancholy, but her heart swelled—was it perhaps that the beauty of the garden couldn’t be contained? No, she couldn’t even believe it herself. Yet, it was only the lingering attachments of the past that kept her heart restless. Life is like a dream, she thought, and in her past, how many dreams had already blurred. The emotions that once caused her sorrow and even tears had almost vanished, and even those that remained had changed in meaning. What she once thought were serious matters now seemed merely childish and laughable!
The fragrance of the orchids grew even stronger, enveloping her in a thick embrace. Bees buzzed around the flowers in circles. She keenly realized that the world outside was filled with spring. At the same time, a shadow from twenty years ago resurfaced from the depths of her heart: a child of just ten or eleven, misunderstood by her family due to her eccentric temperament, was sent to a boarding school like a prison—a church school run by an American woman in her fifties. She was exceptionally strict with the children, forbidding them from leaving the solemn, imposing building for months or even years. The surroundings were utterly dry; the courtyard was a stretch of sandy land, dotted with deep pits where children had tumbled, leaving behind the bones of their bodies crisscrossing within. There were no trees or flowers, so she never heard the songs of birds. Perhaps spring felt pity for the children’s loneliness! On the land where spring rain had fallen, some grasses sprouted—such as the "spicy stick," whose roots had a sweet, spicy flavor. The children often lay on the ground, searching for these roots and chewing them slowly. This could be considered a special gift from spring for them!
This lonely child, in such a gloomy and indifferent environment, grew even more stubborn. Without friends, her small heart had not yet understood what the world was or how to value it, but she always felt that the world she was in was dull. She yearned for another world. On a day when the spring wind blew fiercely, her heart burned with even greater hope. Yet, the prison-like school and its dark, lacquered gates remained firmly shut, even the glimpse of the outside world through the door was just a dream.
So, after class, she would go alone to the cellar—a place even more solemn and terrifying. The walls were made of stone slabs, and the ceiling was also cold, heavy stone. As soon as she entered, a chill washed over her, but in her heart, she felt it was more mysterious than the lifeless school building. What drew her, of course, were the small windows, for outside them lay a garden. One day, she suddenly noticed that a cluster of butterfly orchids and golden bells had bloomed before the window. This was a great temptation. Since discovering the spring outside her window, this lonely child had blossomed with a glimmer of light in her life. Every day, like a cat, she would curl up at the window, silently imagining the mysterious world beyond.
She lacked the philosophical imagination of a philosopher or the rational mind of a scientist. Her small heart was simply seized by a passion bestowed by heaven. She felt the cellar where she sat was the human world—a cold, indifferent place. But the world beyond the window was different. Everything there was beautiful, harmonious, and free! She longed for that mysterious world outside and often soared with the spring wind in her tiny soul. She felt herself transform into a butterfly, fluttering among beautiful flowers, or sometimes into a bird, flying straight into the sky, resting peacefully among soft white clouds. She spent the entire day lost in this intoxicating reverie, only leaving her soul’s sanctuary when the sunset escaped behind the mountains and the earth was shrouded in darkness. She returned to the unfamiliar school.
Every day, she followed her routine to the cellar—until the entire spring passed. Then, she suddenly saw the butterfly orchids had withered, and the golden bells had fallen. Only a cluster of deep green leaves remained, swaying vigorously in the gentle breeze. At that moment, she couldn’t help but shed tears inexplicably. This child was truly strange—only ten or eleven years old, yet her future was vast. How could the fading of spring flowers and the contrast of green and red evoke such deep sorrow in her?
But she had always been like this since childhood, which led her to be rejected by her family and society. In her childhood, she could only seek comfort and joy in dreams, until she denied everything in the real world and became a detached, solitary person. Throughout her thirty years, only these fragments of dreams sustained her life.
The sunlight gradually shifted to the white orchids, and the spring outside the window stirred her childhood memories. She sighed deeply: "Alas, how imperfect this real world is! In the moment when the spirit of spring strives to create beauty, you still try to hide your ugliness? If humans even lack these dream-like comforts, I truly wonder how they can continue to live!" May this spring outside the window never fade from the world! She prayed with such sincerity that the white orchids seemed to understand her...