Research personality, learn to read people

Author: Zhong Shi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-04-01
Features: Four Types of Friends
A person may not have a wife or husband in their life, but they absolutely cannot lack friends. Even Robinson Crusoe on a deserted island needs a "Friday." One cannot choose their parents, but everyone except Robinson can choose their own friends. Ideally, the things one chooses should align with their ideals, but that is not always the case. When you choose someone, they also choose you. Being chosen is an honor, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a pleasure. Many people ring your doorbell, but how can everyone make you "overjoyed"? Broadly speaking, the people who ring the bell can be divided into the following four types:
Type 1: Sophisticated and Interesting.
The ideal of this type of friend is something that is rare and hard to find. There are many sophisticated people in the world, and many interesting ones too, but those who are both are few and far between. Sophisticated people command respect, interesting people bring joy, and those who are both command respect without intimidation, familiarity without familiarity, and the longer you interact with them, the more refined and pleasant they become. They are like fresh fruits—delicious, nutritious, and a win-win situation. Friends are like mirrors. If you have such friends, your own level of understanding is unlikely to be low. Mr. Su Dong’s footsteps have never encountered lowbrow or dull people.
Type 2: Sophisticated but Boring.
These people might be what the ancients called "advisory friends" or even "fearful friends." Some of them are knowledgeable, others have high moral character, and some are "excellent in both academics and conduct," like model students. The only drawback is that they lack a touch of humor and fail to be lively. You always feel there’s a block in their way, preventing them from fully grasping the practicalities of life. When you talk to them, it’s not like playing ball, where you pass it back and forth, or like rolling a snowball, where an interesting topic grows bigger and bigger. The more energetic ones only focus on serving the ball, regardless of whether you can catch it or not. The ones, on the other hand, wait passively, rarely returning even a ball or two. Whether the opponent is active or passive, you’re the one who has to pick up the ball. If you don’t, the game is over. The regret of these fearful friends lies in their narrow sense of humor, so their "scope of interaction" with you doesn’t expand much. In such a vast world, their purpose in coming from the south of the city to the north is only to discuss topics like "the special significance of death in modern French novels" or "the Eskimos' attitude toward sex." Staying up all night to play ball with such a friend is exhausting. Such friendships are a bit like taking medicine—too bitter.
Type 3: Lowbrow but Interesting.
These friends are extremely entertaining. They are great storytellers,, they are well-connected,, they have a wide network, and they’ve been to all the good places and even tried all the bad ideas. They can handle any topic in the world, and you don’t have to worry about how they’ll handle it. Their entire knowledge lies in making outsiders not notice that they lack knowledge. As for insiders, how many are there in the world? So their flaws are not very noticeable in many living rooms and dining rooms. They are great conversationalists. With them at the table, everyone is delighted, and the wine they drink is even more "refreshing" than the words they hear. In meetings,