Psychological Health Encyclopedia Revised Edition

Author: Zhu Yuulong
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-03-01
Features: Research has found that only 5% of people worldwide meet health standards, while over 75% are in a state between health and disease, known as the "sub-health state." The main factor leading to this state is psychological issues. Research has found that only 5% of people worldwide meet health standards, while over 75% are in a state between health and disease, known as the "sub-health state." The main factor leading to this state is psychological issues. The five major features of this book are simplicity, comprehensiveness, breadth, authority, and effectiveness. The entire book uses simple cases to let readers experience psychology in vivid examples, appreciate the charm of psychology, and thus spark interest and establish a systematic understanding of psychology. This book covers most of the practical content in psychology, benefiting both professionals and non-professionals.
Section on Comparison Psychology
A humorous poem once went like this: "People are not equal in the world, some ride fine horses while I ride donkeys. Looking back, I see men pushing carts, neither better nor worse." Bill Gates, the world's wealthiest person, also said, "Humans are born unequal." Since inequality exists, the gap between people becomes obvious in comparisons. Looking at others and comparing them to oneself often leads to resentment and melancholy, losing one's own good mood. Where does comparison come from? Some families are wealthy and live in luxury, while others have empty cabinets and insufficient food. Some hold great power, commanding the winds and rains, while others push carts and speak cautiously. Some have mansions, luxury cars, and beautiful wives, while others have plain wives, small plots of land, and worn-out cotton clothes. The same life, different lifestyles, often evoke many reflections in people's hearts. If one compares with those better than oneself and takes them as role models to learn from, it is naturally a good thing. Through comparison, one recognizes their shortcomings and then works to improve and correct them—such comparisons are indeed meaningful. But the problem is that after seeing others' good qualities, one often doesn't start by learning and working hard but instead complains endlessly about oneself, even believing oneself to be good for nothing.
Psychologist's Note
A patient worked as a civil servant in a government agency, living a quiet and contented life. One day, he received a call from a high school classmate about a reunion. After ten years apart, he went with joy. "My former classmate was successful in business, living in a mansion and driving a luxury car, exuding an air of success." After the reunion, he felt deeply unsettled and changed. He sighed all day, complaining to everyone about his troubles. He thought, "That classmate always failed exams but now has so much money. I'll never be able to afford a Mercedes, no matter how long I save." His colleagues tried to comfort him, saying, "We work in offices; if we have money, we don't need to buy cars." But he remained gloomy. Before psychological treatment, he even became bedridden due to his mental distress.
Sometimes, seeing others get married with grand cars and flowers, he felt wronged, thinking back to his own wedding with just a few fruits and sugar, hastily marrying his husband. Seeing others promoted at work while he remained stagnant, he felt bitter, comparing himself to a hibernating bear at home. During holidays, seeing others giving lavish gifts, he grew envious of his own "no news from the Western Front" and "quiet Don River." Seeing others' children excel while his own is stubborn and lacking ambition, he felt resentful. Some even envy celebrities, seeing them surrounded by flowers and applause all day, believing they are free from pain. In reality, misfortune knows no north or south; celebrities also have pains unseen or unfeared by ordinary people. In daily life, who doesn't show only their shining side to others? As the saying goes, "Comparing people kills the spirit." In fact, comparing people isn't the issue; it's those who get angry from comparisons due to their own personality and psychological flaws, fostering inferiority complexes.
Sometimes, if one steps back and thinks, many things in life don't need to be taken too seriously. If one does, it only leads to self-torture without any positive outcome. Life's differences are everywhere, and the desire to compare is so hard to overcome, often taking a toll on happiness. But if people can adopt a different mindset, not always picking their weaknesses to compare with others' strengths, making themselves feel worthless—how exhausting that would be. Lowering one's gaze, learning to look down, and comparing downward can bring more joy and satisfaction to life.
Comparison Culture on Campus
The Ningbo Evening News published an article titled "Luxury Spending Among University Students Surprises," reporting that students now spend over 1,000 yuan per month. Some students admit that some expenses are not necessary, such as dining out with friends. A university student said, "I don't want to spend so much, but when others treat me to meals, I can't refuse!" Some students felt ashamed not to have a mobile phone like others, so they asked their parents for money to buy one for over 1,000 yuan, while their parents were living on laid-off wages and struggling to make ends meet with odd jobs. In reality, buying a mobile phone or dining out offers little real help to students. With the increasingly severe job market, students who develop extravagant spending habits in school will struggle to adapt to the harsh realities of society later.
Beware of Children's Comparison Psychology
Which parent doesn't love their child and want them to look better and trendier than others? Some parents are reluctant to fall behind others and try to fulfill their children's desires. With improving living standards, parents can now provide material foundations for children to compare. Today, comparison psychology exists to varying degrees in both primary and university students. Some compare material wealth, such as whose clothes are brand-name, whose pencil cases are high-end, or who spends money more freely. Others compare family conditions, such as whose houses are larger, whose parents hold higher positions, whose cars are better, or whose household items are more luxurious. Some compare appearance, achievements, or who is favored by teachers.
A young child often cried about not wanting to go to school. When asked why, he said his classmate had a beautiful backpack, while he had an old one left by his older brother. His mother, to coax him to school, promised to buy him a new one. A few days later, the child refused to go again because his classmate had a high-end robot toy, and he didn't. The loving mother, with no other choice, bought another new backpack.
Psychologist's Reminder
Children's comparison psychology...