Patient's question:
My wife has been pregnant for four years since she found out. From the time she was pregnant to when the baby was a little over a year old, we had sex only once or twice a month. Otherwise, she refused any physical contact, saying she was afraid of tickling and hygiene issues. She also didn’t want to change positions and would insist on moving quickly, saying it was really uninteresting, like being with a piece of wood. She didn’t let me hold her or kiss her, and I felt like I was offering romance and love, but she believed it was vulgar and shameful, shameless. We sleep in separate beds at night and aren’t allowed to be close, saying it makes her uncomfortable. She always has various excuses and refuses to talk when I try to discuss it. Even when I took her to see a doctor, she refused and got angry. Now, I can’t take it anymore, and we’re sleeping separately. Is this a physical or psychological condition? Please guide me.Doctor's answer:
From the situation you described, it is very likely that your wife's condition is triggered by psychological factors. She is reluctant to share a bed with you and finds various excuses to refuse sexual activity. She doesn't want to be touched lightly, fears uncleanliness, is unwilling to change positions, and keeps urging you to speed things up and finish quickly. She usually doesn't allow hugs or kisses, considers romance as shameful and vulgar, which could be a sign that she suffered from psychological and emotional trauma in the past, leaving her with deep psychological shadows. This kind of psychological trauma is often related to childhood experiences, such as being raped as a child or witnessing her parents' sexual activity being criticized, which made her feel that sexual activity is a sin and something dirty. In her case, she needs understanding and psychological therapy.