Live ordinary life

Author: Li Ou-fan Li Yu-ying
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-12-01
Features: This is a "New Six Records of a Floating Life" for contemporary people, as well as a multi-genre emotional autobiography. The authors are authorities in modern Chinese literature and professors of Chinese literature at Harvard University. From the perspective of daily life, the couple traces the fate of their meeting. The book includes love letters, memories of travels, and trivialities of life. At the end, it boldly reveals their struggle against depression, moving readers deeply. Though titled "Living Ordinary Days," it offers an extraordinary testimony to the marriage life experienced by ordinary people. This is a "New Six Records of a Floating Life" for contemporary people, as well as a multi-genre emotional autobiography. The authors are authorities in modern Chinese literature and professors of Chinese literature at Harvard University. From the perspective of daily life, the couple traces the fate of their meeting. The book includes love letters, memories of travels, and trivialities of life. At the end, it boldly reveals their struggle against depression, moving readers deeply. Though titled "Living Ordinary Days," it offers an extraordinary testimony to the marriage life experienced by ordinary people. This is an interesting book. Mr. Bai Xianyong wrote in the preface: "When we were young, we often had a rather assertive conclusion: that middle-aged people no longer have or need romantic love, which is completely a misdiagnosis of young people. This book records the love story of Li Ou-fan and Li Yu-ying, who fell in love in middle age and eventually married. Finally, at the age of 60, they achieved an ordinary married life. This book holds special significance for Li Ou-fan and Li Yu-ying." Li Ou-fan said: "This little book, on the surface, seems to trace Shen Sanbai's 'Six Records of a Floating Life,' but in content, it is quite different. Both Yu-ying and I are passionate about Chinese literature. Though we have a sense of nostalgia for the past, we feel we are modern people. The joys and sorrows described in Shen Sanbai's book are something we can sympathize with but cannot repeat. Perhaps, Yu-ying and I still have a bit of romantic sentiment, so we do not believe that in this so-called 'postmodern' era, life consists only of desires without love. We must redefine love and see it as the prerequisite for 'tranquility.'"
Volume I: Records of Love Between Two Places
Volume I: Records of Love Between Two Places
"To love someone is a wonderful feeling. Only by emptying yourself can you have space to enjoy the love others give you. Love is something that grows the more you give."
These words are from a letter Yu-ying wrote to a female friend on the plane from Hong Kong to Singapore when she came to see me. As soon as she got off the plane, she showed me the letter she had just written, and I was deeply moved at the time, so I kept the letter and have never sent it out. I think this letter is Yu-ying's "proclamation of love" and has become our motto in life together. After emptying everything, only bare sincerity remains. Only with sincerity can you qualify to receive love from others.
In 1999, at the end of the 20th century, I unconsciously fell in love with Yu-ying because I felt her sincerity and true nature. She was not only a person of true character but also, in her middle age, still seemed to inspire a desire to protect her. This was not just my personal feeling; many of her friends—regardless of gender—shared the same sentiment. I remember when I told a colleague, who was also a long-lost friend of Yu-ying, about our relationship, her immediate reaction was: "She is the most genuine person I know." (She is the most genuine person I know.)
We decided to publish this collection of love letters, boldly dedicating it to thoughtful friends and readers, all for the sake of this truth. Compared to Yu-ying's letters, I am far from perfect. My letters also express true feelings, but there is still a hint of self-centeredness in them, unlike Yu-ying, who "empties herself" and naturally reveals her emotions completely! For me, modern people—especially those like me, who are so-called "intellectuals"—are deeply guarded and have long been unable to reveal themselves in this world. (And of course, the self I wrote about in my novel "The Confessions of Fan Liuyuan" was also a fabrication.) This kind of true nature, I call Innocence, and I deliberately use the uppercase English word to contrast it with "worldliness." Older people seem to grow more worldly with age, and it is rare to find someone who maintains their true nature after middle age! Yu-ying has never written any articles for publication. Her writing is very simple and pure, far from reaching "professional" standards, and she has no intention of seeking fame or creating a public image. As she said in her letters, she would rather be a "woman behind the scenes," silently supporting her husband, without any "notoriety." From today's perspective, this is a rather outdated conservative attitude. Precisely because of this, I feel it is even more necessary to preserve the truth—to let her own voice be heard. Otherwise, she might truly become my "woman behind the scenes," losing her "subjectivity."
I have always had only one request for Yu-ying—be herself! The language in these letters is all hers, and the style is completely different from mine. Sometimes, there are even a few Cantonese phrases because she has lived in Hong Kong for a long time and rarely speaks Mandarin or Putonghua. The charm in her writing comes either from spoken language or classical Chinese, and reading it gives me a stronger emotional "tension." Therefore, to preserve the truth, I have made minimal changes to the wording, merely deleting passages that truly involve our privacy.