Businessperson's Eloquence Training (The Whole Book)

Author: Dale Carnegie
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2001-09-01
Features: Dale Carnegie, a great American success expert, interpersonal relationship expert, and adult educator of the 20th century. He dedicated his life and made his greatest contribution to establishing a set of training methods called "Effective Speaking and Influencing Others" for adults (primarily business professionals). His works have been translated into almost every language in the world, and his training methods have become popular globally. From government leaders to business executives, from the middle class to ordinary people, Dale Carnegie's training programs have produced millions of graduates, influencing the lives and destinies of generations. This book compiles Dale Carnegie's conversation skills and training experiences, embodying the essence of this life coach's insights into human nature and the success philosophy he established.
Excerpt: 2 The Power of a Smile
Berger was a highly successful insurance salesman in the United States. Before entering someone's office, he would pause for a moment to think of many things he should be grateful for, which would trigger a sincere smile. Recently, I attended a banquet in New York. One of the guests was a woman who had just inherited a large fortune and was eager to make a good impression. She spent a lot of money on sable, diamonds, and pearls, but unfortunately, the expression on her face was harsh and selfish. She didn't realize that for any man, the look on a woman's face is far more important than the clothes she wears (remember this the next time your wife wants to buy a sable coat).
Swab told me that his smile was worth a million dollars. What he wanted to convey was perhaps this truth. Because Swab's personality, his charm, and his ability to please others were almost the reasons for his extraordinary success. One of the most lovable aspects of his personality was his charming smile.
Once, I spent an afternoon with Beverly—he was, to be honest, a bit disappointing. He rarely smiled, his expression was stern, and he was completely different from what I had expected. Fortunately, he did eventually smile. And when he did, the atmosphere brightened as if the clouds had parted. In the past, his smile had changed his fate. If it hadn't been for his smile, he might still be working as a carpenter in Paris, continuing the profession of his father and brothers.
A person's actions speak louder than words. Smiling at others is a way to show, "I like you, you make me happy, I enjoy seeing you." And others will certainly like you too. Why are dogs so lovable? Look at them—they love to see us, their joy seems to leap out of their skin. Naturally, we enjoy seeing them too. So, does it work if we just open our mouths and smile, even if it's an insincere smile? No, that kind of smile doesn't fool anyone. It's a mechanical, fake smile. If we know it's fake, we'll feel disgusted and repelled.
The smile we're talking about here is a genuine smile, a warm smile, an authentic smile that comes from the heart—the kind that can fetch a good price in the market. The personnel director of a large department store in New York told me that he would rather hire a female employee who didn't graduate from elementary school—provided she had a lovely smile—rather than a cold-faced philosophy doctor.
The chairman of a major rubber company in the United States told me that based on his observations, if people don't approach their work with happiness, they rarely succeed. This business leader doesn't fully believe in the old saying: "Only hard work can open the door to our desires." "Among the people I know," he said, "those who succeed are those who truly love what they do. Later, when they start working hard, the job becomes dull, they lose all the joy in it, and eventually, they fail."
If you want others to be happy to see you, you must also be happy to see others. Once, I invited thousands of business professionals and asked them to smile at someone every hour of the day for a week, then return to share their experiences. How did it turn out? Let's take a look at a letter written by Stan Hard from the New York Stock Exchange. His situation was not unusual—it was just one typical example.
Stan Hard wrote: I've been married for 18 years, and during those years, I rarely smiled at my wife or said more than a few words to her. On Broadway Street, I was known for having a bad temper. Because you asked me to give a speech about my experience with smiling, I decided to try it for a week. So the next morning, as I was combing my hair, I looked at my dull face in the mirror and said to myself, "Bill, you need to shake off your old expression today. You have to smile—you're starting now."
By the time I sat down for breakfast, I greeted my wife with a smile. She was surprised, she was bewildered. I told her I would do this more often. Now, I've been doing it for two months. I've changed my attitude. In these two months, my family has experienced more joy than in the entire previous year. Now, when I go to the office, I say "good morning" to the elevator operator and smile at him; I smile at the doorman; I smile at the clerk when I shop in the subway; I smile at people on the trading floor who have never seen me smile before.
Soon, I noticed that everyone smiled back at me.