Dr. Du's Happy Family Series: Marriage and Sexuality

Author: (American) Dubsen
Translator: American Management Technology Company
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2001-03-01
Features: Should we judge a book by its cover? Is the charm of appearance important? For introverted children, what is the best way to improve their shortcomings? What should be done if a child is bullied by others? How can we give children independence and freedom? Should parents have a limit in raising children? Do Americans lack confidence to varying degrees? Who is more prone to depression, men or women? Do men experience a "midlife crisis"? What is most important for fathers? The answers and solutions to all these questions will strengthen a family.
Excerpt: Self-esteem of adults
If I understand your book correctly, you believe that most Americans lack confidence to varying degrees. Assuming this is true, what does a lack of confidence mean overall? It has significant implications for the stability of American culture. Because the health of the entire society depends on a relaxed social environment, where every member is accepted by society. However, in 20th-century America, because most people did not understand the importance of confidence, widespread mental illness, nervousness, hatred, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, and social instability inevitably emerged. Personal value is not something people can freely possess or discard. We all must possess it, and when people lose it, only pain remains.
Why do you think women today generally lack confidence, and what is the reason for this issue being more prominent than ever? During this period in history, three factors seem to be related to the self-doubt prevalent among women. First, the traditional responsibilities of a wife and mother have become disrespected and ridiculous. In most parts of America, raising children and managing household affairs are considered low-status jobs, and women still playing these roles are very aware of their current situation. Moreover, the public opinion pressure that spreads this view is pervasive: it is everywhere—on television, magazines, radio, newspapers, advertisements, books, and novels. It powerfully undermines the self-confidence and sense of fulfillment of housewives. Thus, it is no surprise that many American housewives withdraw from society and fail to gain respect from those around them. They have no choice but to turn a deaf ear to these views.
Another significant reason is related to the status of appearance in society. Physical attractiveness (or the lack thereof) has a profound impact on a woman's self-confidence. Because it is difficult to separate a person's fundamental value from their appearance, women who consciously feel unattractive often feel inferior to others. This pressure is amplified in a society that values appearance as much as ours. The more a culture values sex (and American culture is at its peak), the more likely it is to reward beauty and punish ugliness—is this reasonable? When "sex" becomes exceptionally important in people's eyes today, those with the lowest sexual appeal begin to worry about their lack of competitiveness in this market. They have lost today's most valuable "currency." Countless people have fallen into this trap.
The third reason for American women's lack of confidence is related to basic intelligence. Simply put, many women feel they are stupid or foolish. Psychologists have recognized for decades that while men and women have their strengths, there is no fundamental difference in their overall intelligence levels. Men excel in math tests and abstract reasoning, while women excel in verbal expression and other language skills. However, when individual abilities are limited, neither gender has a significant advantage over the other. Despite this fact, women are more likely to doubt their intellectual abilities than men. Why? I don't know, but it is another important factor contributing to a lack of confidence.