Nixi

Author: Nan Gong Bo (authored)/Nationality:
Publisher:
Publication Date: 2003-01-01
Features: Her smile and her answer made Zijian suddenly feel disappointed and painful—had she never experienced love or was she indifferent to his affection? He was bewildered and heartbroken, managing only a few dry chuckles in response. "I have gone through chaos, and now is not the time to talk about marriage!" She retracted her smile and added these words seriously. Zijian couldn’t understand her true intentions, and as he wandered along the path of love, he felt as though he was on an endless journey. After walking in the garden for a moment, he reluctantly bid farewell, still not satisfied but leaving nonetheless. Love had brought him distress, and he shut himself in his study, yet he did nothing, lost in thoughts of subtle past memories.
Just then, Cao Cao returned from outside—since settling down, he had thought of Zhenfu, who lived in the back garden. After moving back to the capital, she had paid him a visit once; since then, preoccupied with matters, he had not visited her. So, like his two sons, he slowly stepped into the garden. Zhenfu greeted Cao Cao in the study where she had once hosted Cao Pi and Cao Zhi. The great general, always gentle and subdued in the presence of women, asked in detail about her life since their separation. And Zhenfu, who had weathered the storms of life, replied with equally delicate but vague words.
When they captured the capital, Cao Cao had intended to take her as his own. However, since he had been a friend of Yuan Shao and a former associate of her uncle, the vast difference in status, coupled with the complex political ties in the northern regions, prevented him from acting immediately. He took her in as a daughter-in-law instead. Now, the political reasons no longer existed, and his ambitions surged anew. Amid the chaos of war, he had seen countless beautiful women, but few were truly stunning—now, sitting across from her in the study, he mentally listed all the lovely women he had known.
Cao Cao recalled a battle in Xu Province where he had met Qiao Gong of the Eastern Wu. He had two daughters, both renowned for their breathtaking beauty, known as the "Two Beauties of Jiangdong." Years earlier, Qiao Gong, fleeing turmoil, had eagerly sought a husband for his daughters. Though he had the chance to marry them, state affairs kept him from delaying. On a dawn bathed in mist and moonlight, he bid farewell to the old man. Meanwhile, the two flower-like sisters were married off by their father to Sun Ce and Zhou Yu of the Eastern Wu. Later, in the prosperous capital and desolate roadside inns, as he drank deeply, he often discussed the beauty of women, and the "Two Beauties" were always on his mind. Yet, they had already found their matches.
Then he heard of the daughter of Zhen Yi in the northern regions—her! She was one of the "Top Three Beauties of the World," and he could not afford to miss her! Slowly, Cao Cao drew her into conversation about her future. He cleverly began by discussing the heroes of the world, asking for her opinion.
"In this corner of the northern regions, I have seen little and know less, so I dare not speak of the world’s heroes." "Let’s just chat—" he said with a smile, "I also want to know your thoughts about this." "My future?" she glanced at Cao Cao, sighing softly, "A widow like me still speaks of the future? Besides, it has nothing to do with the world’s heroes." "In my opinion, only the top two or three heroes in the world could deserve you," Zhenfu smiled faintly, lowered her head, and gave no reply.
"I’m very sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you in this trip to Ji Province. I hope there’s a way to make it up to you so you’ll be satisfied in the future!" "I thank you, Lord Cao—" she said, slowly approaching and kneeling on the mat. "But it’s too late now to choose among the outstanding heroes of the world."
Cao Cao widened his eyes, unable to grasp the meaning of her words. Zhenfu then slowly sat down, her voice tinged with a hint of melancholy. "When it comes to heroes, besides Lord Cao, who else is there in the world?"
Cao Cao was overjoyed, about to modestly decline, but Zhenfu quickly cut him off. "It’s too late now. Lord Cao has a wife, so what else can I ask for?"
"Hehehe—" Cao Cao laughed loudly, clapping his knees to hide his emotions. He was testing her, and she, in turn, answered him skillfully.
Cao Cao praised her cleverness in his heart and finally restrained his shock, speaking in the tone of an elder. "How could I dare take you? Great talents rise in every era—I intend to find a worthy match for you among the outstanding figures of the future—haha, this has been a matter close to my heart for a long time."
"I should thank Lord Cao," she replied gently, "in these troubled times, I have received too much from you!" Again, she expressed her gratitude with a keen sense of awareness.
In his laughter, Cao Cao concealed his motives. The great general, who had conquered destiny, had finally suffered a defeat in love. Yet, he left the garden in high spirits—because the radiant beauty had acknowledged him as an "outstanding hero."
He urged his horse onward, galloping through the snow-covered plains, still singing his father’s lament, though worried.
In the secluded Zhenfu’s quarters in the capital, she was lost in fleeting worries. Walking the corridor, she gently brushed the snow from the cracks in the railings, memories of her life flashing before her—her father had followed Dong Zhuo, perished in the chaos of Lü Bu’s rebellion, and she had fled with her uncle to Luoyang. Later, when Cao Cao rose to power, she moved with her family to Xuchang and then to the northern regions to follow Yuan Shao. Over a decade of her life had been spent amidst wars; from a child, she had grown into a young woman, celebrated as a beauty at banquets in the northern regions. Her uncle had presented her to Yuan Shao’s younger son as a gift. Yet, soon after her marriage, wars broke out between Cao Cao and Yuan Shao, and the Yuan family was eventually ruined—this was the path fate had laid for her!
Now, a new path lay before her. If Zijian did not give her a choice, she would submit as she always had. But things were different now—love. In the face of love, her concerns multiplied. She gently licked her lips, as if feeling the lingering kiss.
"Sigh… I don’t know what to do," she murmured to the snow, to the crows cawing in flight—dusk had fallen. The sky, dimming toward gray, cast a melancholic shadow over her emotions—her life, though in its prime, seemed to her always approaching dusk. Dusk—her heart tightened.
A primal, biological desire surged in Zijian, as if he were a beast. He grabbed her feet, kissed her calves, her ankles, the tops of her feet, her toes. Suddenly, she was as if struck by an esoteric string of a musical instrument—her heart trembled for a moment. She seized his shoulders. Zijian looked up, seeing eyes blazing with life, gleaming with hunger and thirst.
"Zijian—" she gasped, crying out, moaning.
Thus, he stepped onto a new path in life; he unveiled the mysteries of existence—he enjoyed the of life thrice—great thunderstorms came and went; rolling waves rose and fell, and Zijian seemed to awaken from a dream. He looked at the delicate Zhenfu, his emotions a mix of confusion, shame, and excitement, murmuring her name endlessly.
Her cheeks pressed against his, her voice coming in fragmented replies, slow and dreamlike.
"What’s wrong—Jifu sister, I—”
"Zijian—" she seemed to wake suddenly but still clung to his neck tightly.
"Jifu sister, I’m telling you—ah, Jifu—our—"
Zijian suddenly smiled.
"Zijian—our marriage is sealed."
"Zijian—" she slowly lifted her head, "Think carefully, don’t rush. I love you, I’d give you everything. But for your sake, I’m not the one for you!"
"Only I can be the one for you!" Zijian replied solemnly.
"Only you can be the one for me!"
"Zijian—" she stroked his ear and neck. "Get up."
"Oh! I should go back!" Zijian laughed aloud. "I’m afraid the day will break!"
She glanced at him shyly, and Zijian kissed her, quickly rising and dressing. Shortly after, he turned back, wrapping his arms around her. "I’ve decided how to propose to my father. I’ll ask someone to speak for me—it’s too embarrassing to do it myself!"
She nodded and asked, "Who will you ask to speak to the Prime Minister?"
Zijian shook his head.
Zhenfu pondered, then suddenly grabbed his hand.
"Zijian, you can ask Cui Yan—he knows our family and has always respected you."
"Cui Jishui, good—I’ll find him tomorrow."
She sent him to the window, where he slowly climbed out. Standing outside, he turned back, holding her hand, reluctant to part.
"Zijian—" Zhenfu leaned halfway out the window, her arms circling his neck.
"Zijian, my Zijian"
He leaned against her cheek, responding with gentle, lingering words, answering her cries from the depths of her soul. Though the moss on the steps was cold, in the supreme realm of love, they found warmth and eternal comfort.
"I’ll talk to Cui Jishui tomorrow, Jifu sister—our love will last like this!"
"Yes, from now on, you don’t need to climb through the window! Zijian, go back and sleep!"
She released him, lightly kissing his nose.
Morning stars swayed as the long night drew to a close! She watched from the window until he turned the corner, then closed it—her window to happiness.
"Another chapter of life begins!" She sighed in relief, lying back in bed, silently praying to the divine.
"May this last forever!"