End both sides

Author: Zhen Ni
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-07-01
Features: At the age of 19, Qingliu and Jiarui met. Jiarui became her teacher for a new grade, fell in love with his student, and devoted all his energy to her, even ignoring the gossip. For a long time, she could only survive by hiding from others' gazes, feeling through memory, and expressing herself with a pen. She didn’t know if she needed him or if she loved him. But she gave him all of her youth. Six months later, he was transferred to the branch in Qingdao. He asked her to go to Qingdao to see him after graduation, and she promised, but she insisted on staying in Shanghai. There was a period of time when she could hide for a long time, but her feelings couldn’t be forgotten. She believed that in the year she fought for him, she had been working hard, trying to love him and enjoy being loved by him. But she couldn’t. Only after his death did she realize that the hidden feelings were real. He chose to work himself to death at the podium because he couldn’t get her certain love. The handsome Jiarui, in a white shirt and black striped pants, she began to caress him from head to toe. It wasn’t real—it was a dream. He had always wanted to be the groom, to marry her, but he didn’t get the chance. Only on the day of his funeral did she dress him in a beautiful groom’s suit, helping him fulfill his unfinished wish. Jia Shi kept crying beside her, her sister’s tears like rain, dyeing the entire weather of Qingdao moist and foggy. At the age of 19, she actually didn’t know what love and emotions were. Youth couldn’t bear the weight of guilt. This country had no winter. The weather was unusually hot, the plants unusually green, and the flowers unusually vibrant. She loved winter but resisted the cold. She cherished melancholy but feared seeing falling leaves. I said, Ling, are you not willing to be with me? How could I be? You always make my heart ache, and I need to take care of you. Two women, hugging each other through the winter. She had just lost her man and had now entered a country with no winter, meeting Ling, who was 30. Ling was very busy, working at TOAPAYOH, a bit away from the city, and she came to accompany me every night because I only had a short one-month visa. Our friendship had just begun and couldn’t be easily broken. She took me to KLATU to drink. A long bridge, separating and connecting the two sides of the sea. I asked Ling, Is this the sea? Why is it so calm? It is the sea, a tributary of the sea, or the shore of the sea, separated from the real ocean, so there are no waves, and you can see its calm surface. Actually, it has the true heart of the sea. I nodded. A pier this long, with no moored ships, only cruise ships, the other side clearly visible, only with lights, only with a carnival. I heard the band singing, singing old Carpenters’ songs in English, so deeply and lingeringly like the sea. Were you always raised in Singapore? I grew up in KAMPONG, a rural village in Singapore. I have a personality like a boy. Back then, Singapore wasn’t as prosperous, and what you see now was once a wasteland. The rural atmosphere allowed me to survive and