Don't argue with a teenager.

Author: Guan Chenghua
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-04-01
Features: Don't Argue with Teenagers has recently been published. This is a book that focuses on family education and adolescent growth. The author is a teacher with nearly 30 years of experience and also a parent. She starts from the psychological characteristics of teenagers, combining a large number of cases from her practical work to analyze children's worries and answer parents' confusion. It helps resolve the conflicts between "midlife crises" parents and "teenage" children, building a bridge of understanding and communication between children and parents.
Children do not live in a vacuum. The impact of today's social environment on children has exceeded our expectations and imagination. As the cells of the larger social environment, families, and more directly, parents, bear an undeniable responsibility for the shortcomings in their children's growth. Teachers often find that certain personality traits exhibited by students can always be traced back to their parents. Whether it's the excellent qualities of diligence, tolerance, and helpfulness or the traits of laziness, selfishness, and irresponsibility, none are inherent in the child. The power of a role model is infinite. The closest and most direct role models for children are their fathers and mothers. The virtues and merits of a child are given by you; similarly, you are also responsible for some of the bad habits they develop.
I still maintain that children are not inherently wrong, and parents' influence and education are the driving forces in their growth. The direction in which they are pushed depends on the parents' own qualities, educational philosophy, and methods. "Understanding" has reached a deeper level, encompassing comprehension, acceptance, tolerance, and perspective-taking, among other things. However, I believe that "understanding" should come first. Understanding the other person's thoughts, psychology, grievances, needs, and truly understanding them will naturally lead to understanding. Therefore, I suggest that parents set aside their dignity as elders and start by understanding their children. Only when they truly understand can mutual understanding be achieved, and in communication and interaction, they can seek common ground while preserving differences, perhaps achieving a result that is satisfactory to both parents and children.
After years of exploration, I have reached a conclusion: as long as children can express their true thoughts, there are no problems that cannot be solved, no fears that cannot be overcome, and no more severe consequences to avoid. If they fall into the vicious cycle of teachers taking out their frustrations on parents, parents getting angry with children, and children gambling with teachers, it will only lead to a downward spiral where no one's anger is vented.
The differences between parents and children lie in gender, age, knowledge, experience, ability, and income, but not in character. For children, it is a source of honor when elders can humbly seek their advice, boosting their confidence. When adults are willing to apologize and admit their mistakes, children, in turn, gain self-reflection. A confident and self-reflective child is undoubtedly a source of peace for parents.
Children do not live in a vacuum. The impact of today's social environment on children has exceeded our expectations and imagination. As the cells of the larger social environment, families, and more directly, parents, bear an undeniable responsibility for the shortcomings in their children's growth. Teachers often find that certain personality traits exhibited by students can always be traced back to their parents. Whether it's the excellent qualities of diligence, tolerance, and helpfulness or the traits of laziness, selfishness, and irresponsibility, none are inherent in the child. The power of a role model is infinite. The closest and most direct role models for children are their fathers and mothers. The virtues and merits of a child are given by you; similarly, you are also responsible for some of the bad habits they develop.
I still maintain that children are not inherently wrong, and parents' influence and education are the driving forces in their growth. The direction in which they are pushed depends on the parents' own qualities, educational philosophy, and methods. "Understanding" has reached a deeper level, encompassing comprehension, acceptance, tolerance, and perspective-taking, among other things. However, I believe that "understanding" should come first. Understanding the other person's thoughts, psychology, grievances, needs, and truly understanding them will naturally lead to understanding. Therefore, I suggest that parents set aside their dignity as elders and start by understanding their children. Only when they truly understand can mutual understanding be achieved, and in communication and interaction, they can seek common ground while preserving differences, perhaps achieving a result that is satisfactory to both parents and children.
After years of exploration, I have reached a conclusion: as long as children can express their true thoughts, there are no problems that cannot be solved, no fears that cannot be overcome, and no more severe consequences to avoid. If they fall into the vicious cycle of teachers taking out their frustrations on parents, parents getting angry with children, and children gambling with teachers, it will only lead to a downward spiral where no one's anger is vented.
The differences between parents and children lie in gender, age, knowledge, experience, ability, and income, but not in character. For children, it is a source of honor when elders can humbly seek their advice, boosting their confidence. When adults are willing to apologize and admit their mistakes, children, in turn, gain self-reflection. A confident and self-reflective child is undoubtedly a source of peace for parents.