Works of Philip C. K. Chou: foreigners blowing their own horns

Author: (American) Philip Chou
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-01-01
Features: Using an illogical and exaggerated style to highlight many unreasonable phenomena in society and human relationships, allowing you to discover new insights about human nature after laughing. Americans, like the Chinese, enjoy boasting and often "blow their tops." Among Americans, Texans are widely recognized as the "kings of boasting"—if they don't boast, they won't, but when they do, they must "blow their tops" to the fullest. Once, I went on a business trip to Dallas, Texas. In the morning, while having breakfast at the hotel restaurant, I noticed three native Texans signaling me to join their table so we could "spin yarns" together. I don't know where the term "spin yarns" for boasting came from, but that's what they call it. How could I tell they were Texans? Because they were all wearing plaid shirts, jeans, and pointed-toe shoes, with small neckerchiefs around their necks—just like those worn by Boy Scouts. These are the of Texans. Additionally, their cheeks were weather-beaten, a result of years of exposure to the dry desert wind and scorching desert sun, giving them a "weather-beaten face." Americans call this kind of face a "weather-beaten face," which can probably be translated as "a face weathered by wind and sun." President Johnson's face was of this type. Judging by their attire and faces, I guessed they must be Texans. True to their nature, as soon as I sat down, they started boasting to me. Texas is a place rich in oil, so that day they were boasting about their oil wealth. At first, they followed the "rules"; later, however, their boasts became increasingly absurd. One of them boasted, "You know what? There are eight oil wells in my backyard!" "That's nothing!" the second retorted, "Do you know? There's an oil well in my kitchen—you cook directly by lighting a fire on the oil well!" "That's not impressive either!" the third countered, "There's an oil well in the back seat of my car! So my car never needs gas." Thislast sentence drew laughter from all four of us, becausethe person finally "blew their top."