It's better to encourage your child than to scold him.

Author: (Japanese) Ito Shinichi / Chen Jialing (editors)
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2004-11-01
Features: I have been engaged in consulting work for nearly four decades. This consulting career involves accepting parents—especially mothers—into counseling about raising children and providing practical solutions. Initially, I worked as a pediatrician, specializing in caring for children with primarily physical health issues, particularly those involving difficult cases. As for the age range of the children, infants and toddlers were the most numerous. However, during the course of accepting consultations, I gradually discovered that family relationships had undergone various changes. Beyond the physical health of the children, my interest slowly shifted toward the development and deviations of the mind, i.e., mental health—or also known as spiritual health. How to cultivate a healthy mind, how to prevent psychological deviations, and how to correct them—are all aspects of spiritual health. Moreover, an uneasy mind can gradually affect children's physical health, which is what is known as psychosomatic diseases (physical illnesses or symptoms caused under certain spiritual or psychological conditions). As the saying goes, a healthy body is rooted in a healthy mind, and this is precisely the meaning.
In addition, many children also cause great distress to their parents due to behavioral problems. For example, depression, introversion, stubbornness, defiance, restlessness, lack of vitality, preferring play to studying, and so on. It is no doubt that these issues have left parents deeply troubled. Of course, there are also many minor issues, such as many mothers being constantly worried about their children's bedwetting habits.
After entering puberty, problems such as refusing to go to school, domestic violence, neurasthenia, mental illness, running away from home, and bad behavior continue to arise. Some parents even fall into depths of misfortune as a result. However, many of these adolescent problems originate from early infancy, and many cases involve taking a retrospective approach to develop preventive measures early in the school years, which can then be corrected relatively quickly.
Nevertheless, there are many parents who are indifferent to their children's developmental process. Not only do they fail to notice deviations during development, but even others can see that the child has problems, yet the parents firmly believe they are a "good child." Strangely enough, children who appear gentle, well-behaved, innocent, and always obey their parents are more likely to have psychological deviations. Conversely, children who develop spontaneously and smoothly often annoy their parents—for example, through "defiance."
Therefore, developmental psychology emphasizes that the age of 2–3 is when children enter the "rebellious stage." Most second and third graders also engage in "backtalk." So, what exactly is a "good child"?—Let us seriously think about this question!