95 Meditations

Author: Liang Xiaosheng
Publisher:
Publishing Date: Not Available
Features: Self-Exposure and Self-Confession In the 45 years of my life, there are still many murky and ugly "parasites" inside me. The other side of my personality remains narrow-minded, envious of fame and profit, obsessed with vanity, and even helplessly hypocritical. There is also the petty schadenfreude and joy when others suffer setbacks. Actually, as far as I'm concerned, every one of us has some opportunities or periods to prove ourselves as mentors and educators in terms of spirit and character. The difference lies in whether we are good, bad, or even evil. I believe someone will immediately understand my meaning and agree with my view. They might even point out that it is exactly so—in the sense that after becoming a father or mother. That's true. But this is not my main point. My life experience and lessons tell me—perhaps no one in this world can truly influence us for life. No one can bear long-term responsibility for us, not even parents who claim to be responsible. Just as we cannot control our own children after becoming parents, if there have ever been certain Mr. and Mrs. who could have lifelong influence on our character and personality and bear long-term responsibility, then they would certainly be ourselves. We have already started educating ourselves when we were children. When we were teenagers, we have already begun to doubt or even strongly reject the education given to us by adults. At that age, we ourselves have already gotten used to saying, "No, I think." From the day we first started saying and thinking this, whether consciously or unconsciously, we have entered the role of mentors and educators. Thus, we have accepted ourselves as the first student in our "educational career." As a result, we have begun to uphold the "dignity of teachers" and cultivate our instinct to obey "absolute obedience." Thus, we have become more cautious about others' influence on us, sometimes almost everyone, including those we respect. Just as a mentor cannot tolerate another mentor instructing his or her favorite disciple, we have become young in such a psychological process. By then, we have almost completed our "higher education." We have already become men or women very much like the ones we expected to be according to our own "educational curriculum" and "textbooks." Of course, I am referring to our spirit and character.