Chinese family education classics

Author: Zhai Bo
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2002-06-01
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Foreword: China, this ancient civilization with a glorious history spanning five thousand years, has long been renowned for its emphasis on "family education." Of course, the integration of school education, social education, and family education is necessary to cultivate well-rounded and outstanding individuals. However, family education is the foundation. Only on a vast, profound, and solid foundation can we build countless grand structures and towering skyscrapers—this is common sense and an unshakable truth. The various written records of ancient Chinese "family education," including prose, poetry, and maxims, are typically referred to as "family precepts." These are a precious legacy left to us by our ancestors. Studying, selecting, absorbing, and utilizing these family precepts will undoubtedly play an irreplaceable positive role in improving everyone's cultural literacy and moral cultivation, thereby promoting the spiritual civilization of the entire society. The family precepts of China's dynasties cover all aspects of life. The most important of these can be summarized as follows:
1. Cultivating a noble and virtuous moral character. Ancients placed "virtue" at the top of the "three imperishables," with the core of virtue being loyalty and filial piety. Filial piety requires children to respect their elders and repay their parents' kindness, while loyalty demands officials to serve diligently and govern honestly—"Do not do small good deeds as if they were insignificant, and do not do small evil deeds as if they were trivial"—to achieve a high degree of moral self-awareness. The reason why great figures throughout history have succeeded is that they started with the goals of "being filial to parents" and "being loyal to the country," bravely offering their contributions. "If it benefits the state, life and death are insignificant; never avoid or pursue misfortune for personal gain," which highlights the noble spirit of the nation. During the long feudal society, the concepts of loyalty and filial piety were exploited by rulers, mixing in many feudal elements. However, discarding "blind loyalty" and "blind filial piety" while preserving the essence has left many positive factors worth promoting to this day.
2. Emphasizing correct and positive parenting methods. Loving parents have always been common throughout history, and no parent is without affection for their children. However, the question lies in how to love them. Simply providing material wealth to children may make them lose awareness of self-striving and the ability to start their own businesses. Therefore, wise parents should pass on moral cultivation and personal integrity to their descendants, leaving them nothing but purity—this is invaluable. The foolish behavior of accumulating wealth and riches solely for future generations has been harshly criticized by the knowledgeable. Fathers warn their children not to rely on their ancestors' legacy but to strive independently, achieving life's value through their own efforts.
3. Cultivating a sense of achievement and a detached mindset. Ancient Chinese family precepts elaborate extensively on this. Setting goals is the first step to success in one's career. Parents may tearfully advise their children to complete the monumental task of continuing the Records of the Grand Historian, or tattoo "loyalty to the country" on their backs, urging their sons to serve the nation with unwavering devotion. A calm and detached attitude toward life complements the pursuit of achievement. Since building a career and seeking fame and fortune are often intertwined, and wealth often hides various misfortunes in life, wisdom in self-preservation and contentment with what one has become a balance to active striving. The complementarity of Confucianism and Taoism reveals a subtle way of dealing with life. A detached and calm attitude is one that avoids fame and fortune but pursues lofty ideals, while wisdom in self-preservation is a way of fearing setbacks and escaping reality. Whether this is right or wrong, readers can judge for themselves.
4. Properly handling friendships and interactions with others. Everyone is entangled in a complex web of social relationships. "Understanding the world's affairs is learning; mastering human relationships is literature." Friendship and interaction with others is a profound art. "Near the red, one becomes red; near the black, one becomes black." If one enters a shop selling stinking fish, they will gradually lose the ability to smell its stench; if one enters a room filled with fragrant orchids, they will gradually lose the ability to smell their fragrance. Friends have a subtle but significant influence on us, so choosing friends must be cautious, distinguishing between harmful and beneficial friends. One should learn from the virtuous, take the strengths of others to complement their weaknesses, and treat others with the same kindness they wish for themselves. One should not hold others to perfection but should not easily abandon old friends without major faults. One should know the shortcomings of those they love and recognize the strengths of those they dislike. "Harmony" is the fundamental principle of friendship, but this does not mean compromising or being corrupted. Instead, it means working together in unity, mutually promoting each other, and achieving lofty ideals.
5. Clarifying the purpose and methods of studying and learning. "Excelling in learning leads to serving in office" is a behavioral model set by Confucius for intellectuals, aiming to apply knowledge to benefit the people, but it does not mean that learning well is solely for seeking official positions and personal gain. Some people treat pursuing high-ranking positions and wealth as the only purpose of studying, which deviates from Confucius's original intent. Ancients have elaborated on the benefits of studying from multiple perspectives. Some argue that studying changes one's temperament and refines one's character; others advocate studying for practical application, enriching the people and strengthening the nation; still others link studying to being a person: internalizing the teachings of good books and applying them to oneself is the way to be a person. Regarding the methods of studying, ancients also had many insightful observations: "What one learns from books feels shallow at first, but true understanding requires personal experience," turning knowledge into the art of life; studying requires one's own perspective, choosing the good and avoiding the bad, not being deceived by the inferior; studying must involve seeing, hearing, and thinking, progressing step by step from broad to specific.
6. Addressing various psychological ailments in life. Gold has no purest form, and no one is without faults. The tragedy is that people often do not realize their faults, or even if they do, they cannot correct them decisively. Correcting faults should be like treating a disease—each fault requires a proper remedy. For those who are impatient, the method of "wearing a belt of leather" can serve as a reminder to act calmly and steadily; for those who are slow, the method of "wearing a string of silk" can remind them to act swiftly and efficiently. Liu Yan of the Tang Dynasty pointed out the "five faults that lead to family ruin," which is highly comprehensive and still reflects the psychological depths of most people today, evident in all aspects of life. Everyone should examine themselves three times. Chinese family precepts are highly figurative and philosophical. Their figurativeness first lies in the extensive use of metaphors. When discussing friendship, there are comparisons of red, black, stinking fish, and fragrant orchids; when discussing appearance and inner character, there are analogies of spring flowers and pine trees. Zhu Wu said that serving as an official cannot lose integrity, just as a virgin cannot lose her chastity; Cai Yong discussed facial beauty and inner beauty in a lively and engaging manner, making it vividly perceptible. Figurativeness is also reflected in personal anecdotes. Parents often use their own experiences to inspire their children. When Liu Bang was young, he did not receive an education and secretly rejoiced when Qin Shi Huang burned books and buried scholars, but after becoming emperor, he deeply felt the pain of being uneducated. He encouraged his son with his own experience, without any pretense, making it easy for others to accept. The philosophical nature of family precepts is evident in maxims and aphorisms, such as Zhi Dalong's discussion of the "five rigidities of being a person," Chao Si's discussion of the "three stages of becoming a person," Yuan Zhong's discussion of the "three ranks of scholars," Kangxi's discussion of the "three merits of learning," and Yao Shunmu's discussion of the various scales for testing different abilities, all of which radiate the light of philosophy. The vivid figurativeness paves the way for profound philosophical reflection, while emotions permeate both the figures and the philosophy. In every family precept, we can feel the parents' passionate hearts. The family precepts of China's dynasties, embodying wisdom, philosophy, and emotion, still demonstrate a magical charm today. The Classics of Chinese Family Precepts compile the essence of all family precepts across generations, condensing the experience of family education over the centuries and gathering the most profound teachings of family education over thousands of years. It is the crystallization of the wisdom of generations of parents and a mirror for modern family education. These precepts have historically nurtured countless outstanding figures, heroes, and scholars, and today, they must contribute to raising a new generation. Liu Bang, when young, did not receive an education and secretly rejoiced when Qin Shi Huang burned books and buried scholars, but after becoming emperor, he deeply felt the pain of being uneducated, encouraging his son with his own experience, without any pretense. Fu Lei's lengthy family letters aimed to educate his son to become an "artist with both virtue and artistry," drawing spiritual strength from the family precepts of China's dynasties to forge a noble and virtuous moral character.