Without rules, there can be no order: Family law

Author: Xin Pei
Editor-in-Chief: Sun Xiaoqi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 1999-07-01
Features:
Fragment: Marriage, as a "social form of human male-female union," is inevitably constrained by certain social norms and must be completed through legal procedures. Chapter·Marriage Freedom and Love Freedom Love is the pillar of marriage; without mutual affection between men and women, marriage is unimaginable. Free love is the prerequisite and foundation for establishing a marital relationship. It prohibits either party from forcing the other or allows any third party to interfere. This "any third party" includes the parents, relatives, and influential individuals of the lovers. It is common for parents to obstruct their children's love affairs. The "parental command and matchmaker's arrangement" of feudal society completely deprived young people of the right to free love. Today, the love rights of a considerable number of young people are still held by their parents. In rural areas, modern incidents of lovers "flying south like peacocks" still occur, and even tragedies of lovers eloping and dying together have taken place. Free love is a component of marriage freedom, and marital autonomy is protected by law. Therefore, all couples who suffer interference from parents can confidently use the law as a weapon to reason with their parents in a measured manner. They must not adopt a, attitude, nor resort to illegal means such as violence or even eloping or suicide. In "resisting" such interference, it is important to connect with organizations like the Women's Federation and influential relatives of the parents to assist in persuasion. Among various phenomena of parental interference in children's marriages, although some stem from feudal superstition (such as astrological calculations or avoiding "six conflicts"), others arise from narrow regional perspectives. However, most parents consider their children's marriages from the perspectives of character and financial stability, judging the suitability based on their own experience. Their intentions are positive, and children should also seriously consider their parents' views.
A girl named Fangfang from Wangxin Town in Jiading District, Shanghai, met a handsome young man at a dance hall and soon had a "relationship" with him. However, later, the young man often seemed distracted when talking to her. Fangfang said, "His beautiful big eyes stared straight at me, but his pupils didn't move. I knew he was thinking about something else. I called him, but he didn't respond. I can't stand his indifference, but I will never regret it, even though I heard he had another 'relationship' with another girl."
After learning about this situation, Fangfang's mother wrote the following with great concern: "Fangfang, I don't know what you see in him? Maybe his appearance? But I can be sure he doesn't love you, and he's not someone you can spend your life with. You will pay a heavy price for your infatuation. And what is such a price worth! 'The one involved is blind, but the onlooker sees clearly'—Love your mother." Can you say that Fangfang's mother's "interference" is wrong?
Additionally, in today's society, "full freedom" in marriage is still difficult to achieve. This is because, as Engels stated, "Full freedom in marriage can only be realized when capitalist production and the property relations it creates are abolished, thereby eliminating all derived economic considerations that greatly influence the choice of a spouse today. By then, the only motivation will be mutual love." Therefore, in real-world marital relationships, people must consider emotional factors while also taking into account the needs of material life and other economic interests. Under the principle of marriage freedom, the wishes of the lovers are given necessary respect, and reliable guarantees for their realization are provided—this is undeniable. Statistics show that purely forced and arranged marriages have dropped below 3% in rural areas and are even rarer in cities. On one hand, the marriage view of "money above all" is despised by people, and on the other hand, people cannot help but consider the material needs of married life to some extent. In this regard, the parents of the lovers often think more about these matters than the parties themselves. It is also very beneficial for the marital parties to fully listen to their parents' opinions before making a decision.