Spider-Man

Author: Gu Yan
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2004-01-01
Features: Spider-Man is a collection of my prose writings from the past one or two years. When I wrote these works, I had already left my public service job. The once-imagined hardships had become completely real. Although I didn’t deliberately live in a "grass hut," my love for writing and my principle of staying true to myself rather than being swayed by materialism led me to take on the role of supporting myself and others. Most of the essays in the collection were published in the Nightlight Cup supplement of the Xinmin Evening News. Back then, every time I received a payment for my writings, my heart would fill with a sense of emotion. Because I needed them to exchange for my simple meals and cover some expenses for my daughter. Truly, I was very lonely and desolate then. The countless sorrows in my heart made me truly understand Li Qingzhao’s line, "Too many sorrows to carry." There are many ways for people to live, but the most important thing is to choose the one that suits you. Just like when we write prose—it doesn’t demand flashy forms but requires the essence of your life and spirit. When I grew tired of writing or ran out of inspiration, the piano that had accompanied me for years would play another chapter of my life. I played Bach, Chopin, and Mozart, and at that time, the only listener in my home was a spider. It spun its web in the corner of the wall above my head, its craftsmanship flawless. For years, I lived in solitude, and after my daughter left for school in the morning, I would busy myself with survival, along with the spider. We each painstakingly managed our own web-building businesses, coexisting peacefully without interfering with each other. Now, I’ve filled notebook after notebook, and time flies by under my pen. These lonely words record the profound depth of life that I uncovered during my solitary years. And the weight of this depth is only witnessed by the humble yet faithful spider, observing a female writer pacing, thinking, and ascending in spirit in a lonely, humble room. Thus, the spider is a witness to my study life, and the post office is my true confidant. We both stand in the corner of the world, in the corner forgotten by reality. At the same time, we uphold similar survival principles—hardworking and sincere. After the soul ascends, in the realm beyond worldly concerns, we pursue and persist with an aloof independence, yet also a difficult yet happy pursuit.